Women today are able to take care of themselves, because they have to. Picture: GoodFreePhotos

The times they are a changin’. Men seem to be really perplexed about what today’s women want from them. 

How do you identify quality women? She’s confident, strong yet kind; she’s sexy without having to reveal her feminine bits; she has self respect; she’s independent and loves herself. Quality women have a lot to offer a real man, but she demands just as much in return.

Women today are able to take care of themselves, because they have to. Globally, 53 percent of marriages end in divorce. Women, statistically, also live longer than men. With our fiat currencies on a steady decline, one income in a household is seldom enough. So women have had to step up and take over many of the previously required roles of the man.

That, gentleman, means that what a women requires of you has also changed. Women are driven by deep emotional connection, so how you make her feel, is paramount. She needs a man who is independent, strong, loyal and definitely not needy. 

While security, good looks and social standing are important, you will be surprised to know that they are not deal breakers if you possess certain qualities that will get and keep the attention of a quality woman.

The number one quality that will earn you major brownie points, is confidence. A confident man is even more compelling than diamonds. A confident man knows who he is, what he wants and where he’s going. 

There’s a line between confidence and a big ego. Confidence makes you intensely attractive to a quality woman, while a big ego makes you a jerk. A jerk is sarcastic, rude and self-serving.

The next quality is a sense of humour. Can you be playful? Can you make her laugh? Another vital quality is being comfortable in your own life and in your own skin. Women today are more independent and capable, that a needy man is a definite turn-off. 

Neediness comes across as jealousy or wanting her to text you a dozen times a day so you know where she is, who she’s with and what she’s doing. Dial that way down!

Can you be adventurous enough to infuse her with emotion? If you meet a woman that you really like, don’t settle into routines like Friday night is movie night and Tuesday is pizza night. 

Be creative to show her that you’ve actually put some thought into your dates with her. Find out what she likes and take charge of planning your outings because that’s where your confidence and decisiveness shine through.

So yes, gentleman, the game has changed and women are looking for real men with depth, confidence and a willingness to connect emotionally.

Kas Naidoo is a relationship coach and matchmaker.

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