If you want a lasting relationship, meet his friends and family first. Picture: Pixabay
If you want a lasting relationship, meet his friends and family first. Picture: Pixabay

Why he's really not that into you

By Marchelle Abrahams Time of article published Mar 7, 2018

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Dating guru Fiona Dorse’s no-nonsense approach to the dating game could be the wake-up call many single women need, writes Marchelle Abrahams.

Why am I not meeting Mr Right, you wonder? That’s the question many single women ask themselves after many false starts.

It’s frustrating not finding someone who has the same interests and values as you. There’s only so many times a visit to your local pub ends in a fruitless search or diving into the online dating pond leaves you gagging for air.

Fiona Dorse is the founder of premier dating agency Corporate Dating and the author of the book aptly named Alone? Why?

Often referred to as The Dating Guru, she admits that she’s not able to wave a magic wand and make things happen, but after being in the business for more than 21 years, she certainly knows what she’s talking about.

Here’s her advice on why some women struggle to find the man of their dreams, and what they should do differently.

Why should I join a dating agency? Corporate Dating in particular?

I take copies of ID books, and do extensive background checks. Also, I’ve had women come to me involved with men who took things from them, be it money or jewellery. It’s more for security reasons.

READ: How to look more attractive on dating websites

I’m also very particular about taking on a certain calibre of client.

Why do some women find it hard to find love?

Over the years I’ve noticed that people who are single are lazy daters. They are just too tired to go on a date.

Ask yourself why your friends are setting you up with unsavoury types? Either you think you are better or they think you don’t deserve more.

Some women truly think they deserve a prince - you have to be a princess before you meet a prince, so you have to put in the work.

Women are strange thinking a man owes them - you either deserve a wonderful man or you don’t.

Fiona Dorse is the founder of premier dating agency Corporate Dating. Picture: Supplied

Contrary to what we believe, attractive women are getting the short end of the stick. Why?

We are all attracted to imprinting from our past. It explains why a woman is turned down by her dream date. Because she doesn’t look like his mother, he won’t feel attracted to her.

Men are attracted to the girl next door. They yearn for love, support, and care. So they find someone they feel as comfortable with as their own mother.

Nobody is attracted to a Barbie, unless they sexualise a woman and have a low self-esteem. Pretty girls don’t get the guy because instinctively they don’t feel comfortable with her obsession with trying to look like something she’s not. So what do they do? They settle down with a Plain Jane because when he comes home after a night with his friends, it’s she who is going to take care of him by cooking a meal, looking after his children and caring for his family.

So, we don’t really know what men want?

Women’s magazines do women a great disservice; they don’t know what men want. Men don’t want complications in their lives. If guys want to go out with their mates on a fishing trip or kick around a ball, they’ll do it.

Women, on the other hand, plan things weeks in advance. They get their hair and nails done. Nothing holds a man back except a woman who spends hours getting ready.

* Want to find out more about Corporate Dating? Visit: www.corporatedating.co.za

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