5 most common sex dreams and what they mean

Is your dream trying to tell you something? Do you secretly have a sexual fantasy? Picture: Pixabay.

Is your dream trying to tell you something? Do you secretly have a sexual fantasy? Picture: Pixabay.

Published Dec 18, 2020


By Lizzy Bliss

Letting your thoughts drift into a blissful daydream is one thing, but when you fall asleep, you give over complete control to your subconscious. It’s a scary thought.

Your mind can conjure up anything it wants while you’re sleeping, and often these thoughts can be very sexual, even weirdly sexual at times.

Is your dream trying to tell you something? Do you secretly have a sexual fantasy? Is your dream a divine intervention?

Here are the five most common sex dreams and what they mean.

The sex with an ex dream

It’s been said that the dream where you get all hot and bothered with an ex is one of the most common sex dreams out there. But this isn’t usually just any ex. This is the ex (or that one night stand) you will never forget. It could be your first love or someone who had a significant impact on your life, sexually or otherwise.

Rest assured, if you have a dream about your ex, it does not mean that you’re having thoughts of getting back together. You’re exes for a reason. Your subconscious is likely taking you back to the exciting parts of a relationship and skipping over the bad ones. It’s your mind’s way of taking you back to simpler fun times. It’s perfectly normal.

What it probably means is that you’ve grown too comfortable with your current situation and it might be time to shake things up. Nothing too radical, but a bit of spice never hurt anyone.

The cheating partner dream

This is probably the worst dream of them all and has been the cause of many one-sided arguments. Dreaming about a partner cheating can create some severe tension in the real world when you wake up.

The problem is that dreams can feel so realistic that it spills over into conscious thoughts when you’re awake, sowing doubt and suspicion, which all leads to you looking for answers.

This dream does not mean your partner is cheating, and if you have that suspicion, it’s a different story altogether.

What it’s most likely telling you is that you’re not feeling secure in your relationship. It could signify you’re feeling left out lately and there could be a lack of trust from your side.

Maybe your partner is getting too close with someone or something. Perhaps they picked up a new hobby you feel is replacing you.

Either way, you can use this dream to be honest with yourself and how you feel. Use the opportunity to have an open conversation with your partner, but please don’t lead with the cheating dream! Communication is the way forward.

The hate sex dream

Ever dream of passionate sex with someone you truly dislike or swore never to speak to again?

Definitely a bit of a WTF moment! And while it may seem like a nightmare, it’s not bad news. If you’ve had this kind of dream before, it turns out it has little to do with sexual desire but rather the willingness to let go of resentment or anything else unhealthy you might be holding on to.

Burying the hatchet and forgiving someone is what you need to let go of that baggage. This dream is giving you the opportunity to let go and move on with your life. Feel that weight lifting off your shoulders? That should stop the dreams as well.

The dominate or be dominated dream

Maybe BDSM is your thing, but this dream has nothing to do with leather outfits and fluffy handcuffs. This dream is a signal that you’ve lost control of something in your life. Maybe you’ve been taken advantage of at work or home, and it’s subconsciously affecting your thoughts.

Chances are you haven’t spoken up about it, and you’re repressing your thoughts. Use this dream as an opportunity to tap into your assertiveness and tackle the problem head-on. Take back control and remember that your dream already told you that you have it in you!

The group sex or orgy dream

Probably not as common as the rest of the dreams, but still one that pops up frequently. Don’t be alarmed. This isn’t a “voyeur” red flag in your life. The “having sex in a group dream” is more of a metaphor.

No doubt this is probably an entertaining dream, but it’s likely signalling you have some distress in your life. If you’re a very busy person juggling too many responsibilities, this dream is a sign you need to slow things down.

It’s a sign you should prioritise the essential things in your life. Sure, you can do it all, but the question is, do you have to? Don’t overburden yourself with responsibilities. The world will still turn if you drop some of your tasks and always remember to take a bit of me time.

The key takeaway here is that your dreams aren’t literal, but point towards something very real. Don’t overthink it and make sure you’re fully awake before you start making decisions. Get a cup of coffee in you before you slap your partner for cheating in your dream.

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