7 naughty tips to reignite the spark this Valentine's Day
Sex / 14 February 2019, 06:30am / Jenni Holdsworth
Relationship goals come in many different stripes: becoming "official," moving in together, having a child, winning The Amazing Race…
Obviously those goals aren’t for everyone, but what are the goals to set in your long term relationship to maintain that healthy spark that keeps you both mutually invested in bringing each other pleasure?
Take your love on the road
Explore each other as if for the first time, as inspired by a new location. It could be in a new city or an entirely new country, but don’t discount the power of a novel setting when it comes to inspiring passion.
Explore a different role
Role play can be anything - from the strict teacher and coy student to 24-hour Dominant and submissive play - but the one thing it does have to involve is communication of your desires and fantasies.
Once you get over the initial shyness you both may have about opening up about your fantasies (which should happen more than once, because it’s very normal to develop new interests over time) then you can enjoy the other attractive part of role play.
Help each other orgasm (In new ways)
For most (but not all) people, our first orgasms are self-induced, and that’s not a problem. Masturbation is healthy for a number of reasons, but particularly as it helps us understand our own pleasure.
That being said, many of us get used to orgasming one way. When we reinforce a particular method of reaching climax as the one way, we can forget to treat sex as something for the goal of pleasure. There are multiple types of orgasms (for men and women) and we can serve as cheerleaders as well as an extra set of hands (or any other body part, for that matter) in helping our partner with the sometimes frustrating task of "deprogramming" our body from climaxing just one way.
Celebrate red-letter days
Whether sent via phone or tucked into their pocket when they leave the house, little notes are perfect way to show that you care... and also express all sorts of other naughty aspirations.
Now, this works best if it’s not something that happens every day (after all, you do want to keep some things special) but it can also help if you both become used to sharing minor frustrations and workday events constantly.
Explore sensory deprivation
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my sense of touch, but there are just so many ways to deliver delightfully sensuous input to our partner’s body!
It may seem basic, but exploring sensory deprivation in one way or another is an excellent way to help you and your partner "ignore the script" of your usual sex life. Using blindfolds, you can use different scents and sensations to see what parts of their body you can make tick, or even use music to trigger a mental reaction based on memory.
Toy with each other
If 83 percent of couples who have used a sex toy say it had a positive effect on their relationship, why are so many people still reticent to incorporate toys into partnered play?
On one level, many people might still associate toys with masturbation, and masturbation with a completely solo act. Even if that were true (which it isn’t!) there comes one of the ideal innovations to sex toy tech in the past few years: couples’ sex toys.
Find outside erotic inspiration together
Swinging might not be for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find erotic inspiration outside your relationship and share it together. Enjoying pornography or erotica together not only breaks down barriers when it comes to sharing parts of your very personal relationship with pleasure by mutual masturbation, it also lets you safely explore new sexual desires and gives you a ton of kinky inspiration to carry out yourselves!