Woman having an orgasm

Here are 3 tools that can greatly help you increase the intensity of your orgasms.


Gents, while this won’t sound like it’s for your benefit at first, it really is.

The practice of edging is the art of stimulating the relevant bits, bringing yourself or the other person as close to the edge of orgasm as possible, and stopping before climax occurs.

So you might want to practice this alone first, because it may take a bit of practice to get right.

Set yourself a target of edging a certain amount of times before you climax when you masturbate.

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As that target gets easier, set the target higher, until you reach a maximum you’ve set – maybe as high as fifteen or twenty edges.

This is going to achieve two things: first, you’ll last significantly longer and have much better control over your orgasms, and secondly when you do finally release it will be explosive.

Once you’re comfortable doing this on your own, start introducing it in sex, edging yourself as far as possible, as many times as possible.

Once you have control over that, take control and start edging your partner’s orgasms – most women will thank you for it – sincerely thank you for it.

READ: 10 Things you should never think of during sex

Your new erogenous zone: your earlobe

In NeuroLinguistic Programming, one of the key tools is a process called anchoring – basically we get your body to make an association between a sensation or emotion and a physical movement.

The way it works is that at the peak of the emotion or sensation, you make a specific movement for two to three seconds.

Every time you reinforce this association, the anchor gets stronger, until eventually you can trigger the sensation just by using the anchor. In this case, we’re going to anchor orgasms to earlobes.

We’re using earlobes because they’re usually close to your mouth at the point of orgasm.

Simply put what you’re going to do is, when your partner reaches the height of their orgasm you’re going to suckle on their earlobe for two to three seconds.

Next orgasm, you do the same, on the same earlobe, suckling in the same way.

What this does is twofold: first it anchors multiple orgasm experiences onto that earlobe, so eventually you land up experiencing the sensations of multiple orgasms when the trigger is used.

Secondly, the anchor can eventually be loaded up until you will be able to trigger an orgasm by simply suckling on your partner’s earlobe. Who knew?

Synchronised Breathing

Okay this one’s for the ladies and romantics out there. It takes a bit of practice but yields amazing results when you want to feel more emotionally bonded and connected through sex.

The first thing you need to do is practice a bit of synchronized breathing with your partner – use counting in the beginning, e.g. in, 1, 2; hold, 1, 2; and out, 1, 2. It doesn’t matter if you hold in the middle or how long each in and out breath is, it only matters that the two of you find a rhythm and pace that suits you for the breathing.

Once you’ve mastered the synchronized breathing, you can use this exercise in one of two ways:

Put your foreheads together so that your eyes are a few centimetres apart.

Look deeply into each other’s eyes while you practice synchronized breathing for a predetermined time or amount of breaths.

It feels awkward at first, but once you’re comfortable you can try using a song to time the exercise. Use this to connect emotionally before and after sex.

The other way to do this is to look into each other’s eyes and/or synchronise your breathing during orgasms.

Be warned though that something this intense can cause a release of emotion, so don’t panic if you do it the first (or even tenth or twentieth) time and your partner bursts into tears.

This exercise can make you feel very emotionally vulnerable, but very close and bonded.