How to take your sex life from good to toe-curling great

After analyzing data from 195 participants, Jamea found that in general, people who are more sensual, more curious, and utilise positive mental imagery were more sexually satisfied. Picture: Pexels

After analyzing data from 195 participants, Jamea found that in general, people who are more sensual, more curious, and utilise positive mental imagery were more sexually satisfied. Picture: Pexels

Published May 27, 2020

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Sex can be good. But imagine if it could be mind blowing? As a sex and relationship therapist, Emily Jamea has treated hundreds of couples complaining of various sexual dysfunctions.

So she knows a thing or two when it comes to great sex. While writing for  Psychology Today, Jamea explained that many people strive to attain the kind of intimacy that Hollywood movies often depict. Sadly, it's exactly that – expectations versus reality.

But this still didn't put Jamea off her quest to decipher what defines extraordinary sex. "Was it possible that sex could constitute a peak experience for people?," she asked herself.

She then set out to initiate a research study. Concentrating on four qualities affecting sexual satisfaction: sensuality, curiosity, imagination, and relationship attachment, she was interested in whether being in touch with each of these qualities outside the bedroom yielded more intensity inside the bedroom.

After analysing data from 195 participants, Jamea found that in general, people who are more sensual, more curious, and utilise positive mental imagery were more sexually satisfied – but only if they had a secure attachment to their relationship partner. 

"In other words, people might have scored high on the measures of sensuality, curiosity, and imagination, but if they had an unhealthy relationship, they were likely to report lower levels of sexual satisfaction," she noted.

"What makes this research interesting is that it tells us we can work towards deepening our sensuality, expanding our sense of curiosity, and opening our imagination in a non-sexual context to increase our ability to enjoy more intense sexual experiences," Jamea said.

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