Is it okay to pay your wife for sex?

The married couple, who have two young children, have sex once or twice a week - for which there is no payment. Picture: Pexels

The married couple, who have two young children, have sex once or twice a week - for which there is no payment. Picture: Pexels

Published Mar 17, 2020

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In a series called 'Relationship Rehab' on Australian news website  news.com.au, an anonymous reader asked "I pay my wife for sex: is this healthy?" 

While writing, the guy said he came up with the solution after going for more than a year without oral sex.

"As our money is separate due to her being irresponsible, I put forward an idea: Every time she gives me oral sex on its own, from start to climax I pay her $30 (about R300), which may happen once a fortnight. I book it in and shower once kids are in bed and transfer her the money," he explained.

The married couple, who have two young children, have sex once or twice a week - for which there is no payment. 

He ended with: "I have a high sex drive where I feel I need to ejaculate a minimum of twice a day and that’s why I put these offers forward where we both get something from it."

Some relationships thrive on this unspoken agreement, but for well-renowned couples and sex therapist Isiah McKimmie it raised red flags. 

"You also have some kind of ‘agreement’ in place whereby when you want something, your wife isn’t able to say no," McKimmie wrote in response to the question.

"That means whatever is happening between you isn’t consensual. Just because your wife ‘has agreed’ to this doesn’t mean it’s not abusive."

McKimmie further reiterated that the couple's current approach doesn't build intimacy in the relationship. He then added that the husband should seek help for his "need to ejaculate a minimum of twice a day", explaining it could be a sign of addiction.

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