By Lizzy Bliss
NUMEROUS studies have proven that women get the short end of the stick when it comes to orgasms in heterosexual relationships, with men having nearly double as many orgasms as women do.
Nobody is at fault here, men and women are just built differently, and it seems the evolutionary cards are quite heavily stacked against the female orgasm.
The Orgasm Gap is a real thing, people, and it’s not going to change any time soon.
There is one bright shining light at the end of the tunnel for us women, though. We can have multiple orgasms.
What are multiple orgasms?
Multiple orgasms can be defined as having more than one orgasm in a single session. These can be spaced out over some time, happen one right after the other, or it might feel like you’re having a wave of continuous orgasms during the entire session.
Although some men claim to be able to have multiple orgasms, this is an almost exclusively female ability. During the refractory period (the time between an orgasm and when you feel sexually aroused again), men are unable to get an erection, which is needed to reach orgasm.
Women, on the other hand, don’t need an erection to reach orgasm and therefore have a much shorter refractory period. In short, women were built to have multiple orgasms.
Some more good news
If you have a vagina and a clitoris, there is more than a 70% chance that you are capable of having multiple orgasms, compared to only 10% of men in their early twenties.
Of that 70%, most are be able to come anywhere between 2 and 5 times per session from different types of stimulation, and the fortunate ones get to have up to 30 or 40 orgasms (I suppose you start losing count after about 20).
The unofficial world record for most orgasms in an hour was set when doctors at the Centre for Marital and Sexual Studies in California recorded the case of an anonymous woman having an unbelievable 134 orgasms in an hour. In comparison, the best any male has been able to achieve is a meagre 16.
So you want to have multiple orgasms? I don’t blame you. Orgasms are pretty amazing.
Here are a few things you could try
It’s a well-known fact that women need a lot more foreplay than men to get fully aroused, so make sure you take your time. Apart from sex toys, oral sex is your best bet if you’re looking to have multiple orgasms as most women require clitoral stimulation to push them over the edge.
You don’t necessarily have to reach orgasm during foreplay, just make sure you take it slow, and you will stay aroused for longer.
Your orgasms will also be much more intense.
Switch positions after every orgasm
After your first orgasm, your clitoris will be sensitive, and even though you have a much shorter refractory period, it still needs a little break. You can do this by switching to a position that focuses more on internal stimulation.
Just be sure to keep checking in on your clitoris, you’ll be surprised how swiftly you’ll be ready for that second orgasm.
Strengthen your pelvic floor
Many books have been written about the benefits of Kegel exercises. Stronger pelvic floor muscles have many benefits such as better bladder control and of course increased sensation during sex. Regular Kegel exercises will also further reduce your refractory period, leading to more orgasms. Not a bad trade-off for a couple of minutes of training per day.
The best way to explore and learn about your body is by doing it yourself. You probably already know how to make yourself come once, now start giving yourself multiple orgasms. Instead of high-fiving yourself or falling asleep after your first orgasm, begin playing again as soon as your first orgasm starts fading away.
You may have to decrease the stimulation a bit or focus on a different area, but don’t stop. Slowly increase the intensity as your arousal builds up again until you reach climax again. The key is to keep the stimulation going; you’ll be riding a wave of continuous orgasms in no time.
Almost every woman I have ever spoken to find it easier to come with a sex toy than with a partner. If you have a toy with multiple settings, it’s a great way to switch up the sensations, and if you require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm (like 99% of all women), a trusty rabbit or bullet vibrator is exactly what you need.
Pro tip: They’re also convenient when your partner requires a bit of a break, so please teach them how to use it.
Visit www.lizzybliss.co.za for more info