As anticipation for this weekend's royal wedding between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle reaches astonishing new heights, Brits may want to take a step back and ponder whether, perhaps, it has all gone too far. Or, as one royal condom company suggests, lie back and think of England.
The list of merchandise on offer is mind-boggling: life-size cardboard cutouts, paper dolls, socks, mugs, earrings, cupcake toppers and, er, Harry and Meghan swimsuits.
And then there are the commemorative condoms...
Yes, to mark the historic event, Crown Jewels Condoms have come up with a unique product that has taken the world (and the bedroom) by storm.
Described as "fit for a Prince," the condoms are delivered in what one can describe only as truly patriotic packaging. Once the lid (which features a portrait of Harry and Meghan) is lifted, the souvenir case plays the tune of "God Save the Queen" and "The Star Spangled-Banner." Because nothing says transatlantic wedding quite like two national anthems and regal prophylactics.
"We wanted to mark the occasion in an unusual way," said Hugh Pomfret, founder of Crown Jewels Heritage Condoms. Pomfret describes his creation as "novelty meeting luxury."
The commemorative condoms, which encourage customers to "lie back and think of England," have been a huge hit, not just in Britain but also overseas. From Australia to Ohio, Pomfret's small company has been inundated with orders. "People like them because they're different. They're distinctive and romantic," he said.
"In 10 years' time, when people look back, they'll pass over the souvenir mugs and the tea towels. It's the condoms that they'll remember. They'll provide pleasure for years to come," he told The Washington Post.