She might crave attention, but the best way to hook up with Miss Super Hot is to ignore her. It defies logic but, in Woman World, logic doesn't apply. Masood Boomgard explains Female Attention Theory.
Women essentially need three things to survive: shoes, handbags and attention. Water, food and air are secondary requirements.
Attention, I would say, is the most critical requirement. Simply put, if a woman does not get attention, she dies. No, seriously, she does.
In Man World, a woman's dependency on attention is sometimes exploited by proponents of what I like to call Female Attention Theory (FAT). Proponents of this theory believe that ignoring a woman is the best way to make her want you.
This might defy conventional logic because, traditionally, the man is supposed to spend days, weeks and even months wooing the woman of his dreams, right? The fairytales and movies of yesteryear depict the true gentleman using every bit of effort and charm to romance the reluctant lass.
Poetry, chocolate and red roses are delivered to her door daily.
But she will continue to hold out because in Woman World the rule is to hold out for as long as possible - and women usually do, unless she's easier than second grade math.
Most guys will continue the traditional romance approach because they believe paying attention to a woman is the way to her heart. The endless phone calls, text messages, coffees, weekday lunches and dinner dates - in theory - should win her over. It's the rational route of course, but it's also tried and tested.
What many of us don't realise is that conventional logic does not apply to Woman World.
Any piece of logic that a man thinks should apply generally doesn't. In fact, it's normally the exact opposite. What's quite odd is that most women say they want a man who's sweet and romantic, but the sweet guy always seems to finish last despite being the guy who pays the most attention.
"He's just too nice," I've heard women say.
Now you're probably asking, shouldn't Mr Sweet-Romantic get the girl if he gives her the most attention? Women want attention, right? Of course they do, but they also want what they can't have.
The problem is that Mr Sweet-Romantic gives her all the attention she wants, is always there and is, therefore, all too available. She can have him whenever she wants and the fact that she can, makes him unexciting and no challenge to her. Women want a challenge, and no one can be more of a challenge than the dude sitting in the corner of the room who has paid absolutely no attention to her, while every other guy has drooled over her all night.
You see, while women want attention, they don't want it from the guy willing to give it to them. They want it from the guy who isn't giving it to them. Mr I-Don't-Give-A-Damn is simply irresistible, somehow.
Why this is true, I don't know. It's one of those strange things that happen in a woman's mind that I'll never understand.
A colleague of mine named Shady (people really called him that) once demonstrated how FAT worked in reality.
His company once hired a super-hot receptionist, Amy, who had every guy on the third floor chasing after her perfectly formed bottom. But, unlike his gaga colleagues who threw every pick-up line, retarded compliment and tactic at her, Shady ignored her. In fact, Shady made it his mission to talk to every woman in the building except her.
It drove Amy insane because she was well aware of how hot she was and couldn't understand why Shady didn't want a piece of her. The longer it went on, the more irresistible Shady appeared to her, until one day, Amy confronted him in the elevator.
"Why don't you want me!?" she snapped, losing all sense of herself.
"You're not my type," Shady replied smoothly.
A week later they were dating.
Shady explained that Female Attention Theory was especially applicable to attractive women.
"Always ignore the hot one," he would say.
Apparently, attractive women typically get more attention than average or lesser attractive women and when they're starved of it, Shady claims, a switch flicks in their heads that makes them go nuts for the "ignorer".
Whenever one of our mates would complain about a woman playing hard to get, Shady would always say, "wait until you ignore her, you'll see how fast she'll come running". The unattainable is a woman's aphrodisiac.
When Shady announced he was getting married, he started to get offers from women who hadn't previously given him the time of day. The offers were coming from everywhere: ex-girlfriends who had dumped him, high school crushes, women in the workplace. It proved one thing for us single guys: appearing to be less available, or quite unavailable, was the key to attracting women. The trick is not to let her get you where she wants you.
Now there are probably many of you out there who feel that you've messed up and gone the sweet route and that you've ruined your chances already.
Fear not, it's never too late to apply FAT. For how we do it, read above.