Dear Prudence,
I am getting married in March and I was fortunate to have my mother (who lives out of state), maid of honour and future mother-in-law accompany me when shopping for my my wedding dress. When I narrowed down the choice to the final two, they all agreed that one option was better than the other and I decided to go with their vote. Now I regret not getting the other dress. When I look at the pictures they took of me wearing the dress I bought, I feel ill.
But the dress is not refundable and it would be a huge blow to our budget to buy a second dress – and what would I do with the first one? I’ve been having sleepless nights thinking about how unhappy I will be when I look at myself in the mirror on my wedding day and look at the pictures later. I can’t stop thinking that all my guests will be whispering behind my back about how dated and frumpy I’ll look. Other than this issue, my wedding planning has been fine so I don’t think I’m being a bridezilla. What should I do?
Bridal Gown Not to Be
Dear Gown,
You probably know that I have an all-purpose solution to these kinds of wedding dilemmas: elope. But your plight has touched me. We all know what it’s like to realise your outfit is awful and makes you feel awkward and unattractive. Usually the solution is to get home, get in your bathrobe, and put the offending clothes in the goodwill bin. But this dress will be photographed from every angle, thus living on in perpetuity. I have seen way too many episodes of my guilty pleasure, “Say Yes to the Dress,” to think there’s nothing that can be done. (I also know from watching the show that bringing an entourage while dress shopping is often a bad idea.)
First, go back to the store and ask if some kind of deal can be made to exchange dresses. Sure you will take a financial hit, but silly as I feel saying it, I think it will be worth it for your ability to enjoy the day. This means you must rethink your catering menu, for example, or cut out the hard liquor and only serve wine. If the store won’t cooperate, your situation is what eBay was invented for. Again, there will be a substantial loss, but someone is going to want an unworn wedding gown, so you’ll recoup part of your investment. I assure you, no matter what you wear, everyone will think you look lovely. But this is a day you need to feel lovely, so dump the dress that’s ruining your dreams.
Prudie
* Emily Yoffe is an advice columnist, using the name Prudence. Please send your questions for publication to [email protected]. Questions may be edited.
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