DURBAN - AS THEIR babies celebrate their first birthdays, two Durban mothers, whose children were born as the Covid-19 lockdown began a year ago, described how they’d had to adjust to a different way of life in the “new normal”.
Bonnie-Leigh Love, whose daughter Tori-Jayde was born on March 25 last year, recalled waking up to feed the baby at 2am, two hours after the country had entered lockdown.
“Fortunately hospitals were not as strict in the beginning. Upon waking up at 2am to feed her and watching the news and we were already two hours into lockdown, it really felt surreal.
“It was only later that morning when the nurses went into panic mode that it sank in and I felt like I’d been robbed of this magical feeling of having my baby in a serene environment,” she said.
Love recalled seeing nurses running around frantically, donning hair nets and masks, and it felt like something out of a movie, and was frightening.
The first-time mom said the lockdown was a blessing in disguise for her as she was quite against the idea of having a horde of people in her home.
Love’s husband was also working from home, so he was fortunate to be part of their daughter’s milestones. The couple have used Zoom and WhatsApp calls, photos and even started a group so family and friends didn’t miss out on their daughter’s growth.
“The pandemic has steered us in the direction of looking at the smaller things in life and appreciating the tiniest things – we don’t take anything for granted.
“The hardest thing is not being able to socialise as much as I would have liked to. We were just robbed of the choice of being able to go out; everything else has been an absolute dream, spending more time with her at home.”
Sayed Muhammed Rizvi and Mariyam Jawad had a very different birth experience with their second child Muhammed on March 26, 2020.
“I took her to the hospital and by two in the afternoon our son was born. I was with my wife and able to stay in the hospital as normal, and left at nine that night. The next day everything changed, the hospital said I needed a permit and could only come back to fetch her and the baby when they were discharged three days later,” Rizvi said.
The Musgrave parents said their son had been adversely affected by the lockdown.
“Even now he does not know people. He only knows us, his mom, dad, sister and our helper. When he sees anyone else or a crowd, he cries,” Jawad said.
“Nobody was allowed in our building, because of the lockdown, so for the first seven months Muhammed didn’t see people, and then again from December until February. He had to get used to his grandmother when she visited for three months,” she said.
Nicole de Klerk, a registered counsellor, said it was normal for parents, especially mothers, to feel loss around having babies during the lockdown.
“Things like the milestones, celebrations to welcome the new little person into the world, are a big loss for the parents and the baby due to the lockdown restrictions,” she said.
De Klerk said technology could be used to offer support to the parents and baby.
“We just need to find different activities to acknowledge the milestones, and yes it’s sad you can’t have extended family around, but instead of mourning what you lost you can focus on reconnecting with your partner when the baby is asleep with a date night at home,” she said.
She advised moms not to feel guilty that their baby was not being exposed to more people, as babies were focused on their primary caregiver.
“Rather take care of yourself and your emotions. Families and friends can use other ways to show support without being present to help the mom still feel supported and to feel the connection.”
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