New BMW M3: Auto equivalent of 18 SLV

Johannesburg - If you had asked me in January which cars I was most looking forward to driving this year, BMW’s M3 and M4 would have been top contenders – for more than one reason.

M cars, and especially the M3, have, in my opinion anyway, always been the very soul of the brand, cars which have worn their hearts on their sleeves if you will. They’ve tended to offer that perfect balance between power and charm, making them genuine purist tools.

I’ve had my fair share of seat time in the various incarnations over the years. I owned a 325is Evo2, which was a local taste of the first M3 which SA never got, followed by an immaculate German-spec E36 two-door M3. To this day these are still two of the best cars I’ve yet driven.

My personal M3 garage ended there (let’s call it home ownership) but it’s safe to say that the third-generation 252kW “four-pipe” M3 was my least favourite M3. What followed, though, the fourth-generation four-litre V8 (which we had on long-term test last year), was absolutely epic.

Which brings us to the latest M3.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t remotely concerned about Beemer’s decision to go the force-fed route, for the first time in the history of the badge. Not to mention switching back to a straight-six from a V8, or that little fact that the M3’s identity has been diluted forever – with the M4 now the pukka coupé and the M3 the family sedan.

Not many recognise M-ness in four-door guise but, that said, if you look closely you’d be hard pressed not to raise a brow to that trademark power dome on the M3’s bonnet, or the stylish twin-stalk mirrors.

The flared nostrils and fenders are especially juicy too, while the aggro rear bumper and large-bore quartet of pipes would happily make for a teenager’s bedroom poster.

Hit the start button, though, and it becomes obvious that the latest M3 ain’t no poster child when it comes to vocals.

These cars are meant to sound raspy and grumpy, with a bit of a race-car growl thrown in for good measure – the new M sounds a little like this at start-up, but stand outside the car and listen to it and it’s also a bit electric and whizzy, if you know what I mean.

The engineers have a cool soundtrack inducted through the cabin’s speakers – but roll down your windows and boot it through a long tunnel and there’s none of that high-revving spine-tingling war cry reverberating off the walls, which older M cars are famous for. Those sharp gear-down blaps are gone too – there’s really just more science than art going on here.

But let’s be honest, serial killers are generally known for their stealth and sleuth modus operandi, and in terms of performance this thing makes Hannibal Lecter look like a kindergarten teacher. The M3’s three-litre twin-turbo is a proper Bavarian brute, with no respect for the laws of traction. Even with all the nannies locked and loaded, the 317kW and 550Nm (from 309 and 400 before) of turbo-spooled power fired to rear rubber can be overwhelming – for both the safety tech and the driver.

The easy-to-use launch control, though, meant that we matched – yes, matched – BMW’s 4.1 second 0-100km/h claim, blitzing the quarter mile in 12.3 seconds. This makes the M3 the quickest 0-100km/h Beemer we’ve yet tested, with its quarter-mile time also the quickest – but tied with the M5 Competition Pack. I doff my hat to the boys at M, truly impressive power.

DRIVER’S TOOL

As in current-generation M5 and M6 cars, the M3 gets quick-hit buttons to tweak steering, throttle, gearbox, and traction preferences – and once you get a feel of that perfect setup you can dump your combination on the M1 or M2 steering shortcut buttons. I set M1 up as psychedelic-everything with medium traction (which is perfect), and M2 for quick launch-control activation.

With the steering hardened, gearbox sharpened, stability controls loosened (but active) and throttle on full-alert the M3 is very much a driver’s tool. There are impressive levels of grip, and an unbelievable amount of steering feedback on offer here – not to mention the explosive reserves (no matter where your rev needle is) of absolutely-instant, vomit-comet power delivery.

Track-day buyers will appreciate the limited-slip diff; while the real handbrake, for “those” turns, is always welcome.

But know that it doesn’t matter what you’ve driven, how many drags you’ve been to, or how talented you skeem you are – if you do the traction control-off crime, you will do the sphincter-clenching time.

Power delivery means business here: you will burn rubber through the lower gears, you will break traction as higher gear-changes happen, and with aggressive inputs you will be sideways coming out of corners. This really is the automotive equivalent of 18 SLV.

On the other side of the coin, with everything in efficient and comfort mode, the M3 is quite happy to potter around town, with the seven-speed M-DCT gearbox content to grab fifth at 60km/h. The only thing you can’t get away from is the firm ride, but it’s firm in a good way.

Even the consumption, at 12.9 litres per 100km, was fairly exemplary for the power on offer.

VERDICT

Forget everything you know about the M3. This million-buck sedan (R1 048 092 without extras) is a paradigm shift in both attitude and engineering.

Where the older M cars were blue-collar brawlers, the new car is a white collar criminal. Or to put it in sommelier terms, we’ve gone from traditional cork to modern screw-cap here.

Is it still the essence of M? For me this car tends to take the higher-grade approach with its overall feel, from the way it puts power down, to the way it handles day-to-day, to the way it sounds. After driving it for a while it starts feeling more baby M5 than new M3. - Star Motoring

FACTS

BMW M3 Sedan

Engine: Three-litre, six-cylinder biturbo petrol

Gearbox: Seven-speed M-DCT double-clutch

Power: 317kW @ 5500-7300rpm

Torque: 550Nm @ 1850-5500rpm

0-100km/h (claimed and measured): 4.1 seconds

Top speed (limited): 250km/h

Consumption (claimed): 8.3 litres per 100km

Price: R1 048 092

Maintenance plan: Five-year/100 000km

ALTERNATIVES