Somewhere in Belgium - And if this 1985 BMW 323i coupé was ours we wouldn’t tell you exactly where it is either, for the same reason that the seller is asking a whopping €69 900 (R1 118 000) for it.
It has a genuine 260 kilometres on the clock, and there is not a mark on it anywhere.
Other than a concern over the roadworthiness of the original tyres, which after 32 years are probably only good for keeping the rims off the floor, it is absolutely as new - right down to the warning triangles and first-aid kit in the boot.
And even back in the day it was a pretty special car.
The original owner ordered it with practically every optional extra in the book, including a five-speed sports gearbox, limited-slip differential, front and rear spoilers, Recaro sports seats, a 380mm sports steering wheel, electrically adjustable side mirrors, vented rear windows, and an upmarket BMW Business radio/cassette player.
The ad on eBay doesn’t give any details of the car’s history, or why it hasn’t been driven, but it does say that serious buyers can view it, by appointment, during business hours, which means it is probably now in the hands of a specialist classic-car dealer.
Whether it is worth more than any brand-new 3 Series BMW this side of an M3 is a matter between you and your accountant, but to me there is something sad about a 32-year-old performance car that is only valuable because it has never been allowed to perform.