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16 Days of Activism: Why me?

File picture: Pexels

File picture: Pexels

Published Dec 12, 2021

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OPINION: My innocence was taken away from me years ago when I was sexually abused as a young child. This has left such an indelible impression on my life and left me with feelings of unworthiness and depression, writes Shariefa Jacobs.

It has taken me years to feel worthy and to believe in my own potential.

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My innocence was taken away from me years ago when I was sexually abused as a young child.

This has left such an indelible impression on my life and left me with feelings of unworthiness, depression and a suicide attempt at the age of 15-years-old.

After years of psychotherapy and later on some regression therapy, I came to understand why I reacted to certain events in a drastic way.

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I was an angry and hostile person. I lashed out to those that I loved and I always felt that I was not worthy of love or respect.

I only knew what it felt to be disrespected and if someone treated me with love and respect, I would be suspicious of their behaviour.

This would result in many failed relationships, because I was always questioning their motives and questioning my own behaviour.

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It was only years later that I learnt why I responded and especially why my body was responding the way it was. I was always in this fight, flight or freeze mode.

But it is through all this digging up of my past, looking at my triggers and understanding what was happening to me that brought me to this realisation of why these things happened to me and how I can help others going through the same situation.

So this "why me" has led me through the healing process to eventually step into my own power.

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This was originally published in Healing Holistically.

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