Prejudice is learned behaviour. It is passed on to children in very subtle ways by parents, writes Anand Ramphal.
Durban - I have been a Chelsea supporter since the 1980s when I was a student at the University of London. It was very painful to see the clip on TV of a group of Chelsea fans forcibly preventing a black man from boarding a train in Paris.
Chelsea FC does not deserve to have their proud reputation sullied by a group of misguided youth who, according to reports, chanted: “Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea” – and then went on to unashamedly sing: “We’re racist, we’re racist, and that’s the way we like it.”
If this sort of prejudice has the power of upsetting adults, imagine the effect that prejudice can have on children who are its targets in daily life.
Where does this prejudice come from? How can we reduce its pernicious effects?
Many studies have found that adult models play a powerful role in determining whether children will become prejudiced against members of other groups.
Prejudice is learned behaviour. It is passed on to children in very subtle ways, perhaps by parents, who look anxiously at a stranger or a group of people they see on the street, or constantly use words that divide people into “them” and “us”. It is also passed on in more obvious ways such as not allowing one’s child to play with another child because of racial, religious or gender differences, and using language that demeans a particular group of people.
Children also pick up prejudice from the media, books, music, and people outside the family.
Acceptance, the positive form of prejudice, is similarly, learned behaviour. A child acquires this mind-set when he is taught about openness, patience, co-operation, tolerance, flexibility, and respect. He comes to view another person as an individual in his own right and not mainly as a member who belongs to some outgroup. He treats this person with respect and compassion – irrespective of where that person comes from, what he believes, and what he looks like.
How can I teach my child to understand diversity and to respect others?
I advise parents to begin by helping their child to take pride in who he is and the culture to which he belongs. When a child accepts and feels good about who he is, it becomes easier for him to accept others despite differences in ethnicity, culture, gender, religion, family, abilities, health, height, weight, and neighbourhood. And, importantly, the earlier this “shaping process” begins, the more natural and authentic the outcome tends to be.
Encourage your child to come to you with his observations, his questions, and his concerns. Talk to him openly about these issues. These become the building blocks for further education relating to tolerance, positive attitudes and the prevention of prejudice. He learns to put himself in others’ shoes and observes and experiences situations from their perspective. Hats off to Julius Malema for apologising to Helen Zille for calling her a “cockroach” when he was younger.
The rising tide of prejudice in our schools and institutions of higher learning presents our society with a further challenge. One way of tackling this problem – a way that has produced promising results in schools overseas – is for educators to promote intergroup cooperation.
In one study, elementary school children from different ethnic groups were assigned into mixed sub-groups. Each sub-group was given a different lesson to learn. The group as a whole had to come together later to solve problems. The results were most gratifying. It was found that those who participated in the study became more friendly with (and less prejudiced against) one another. Clearly, there is hope. What we need is commitment.
We, in South Africa, are privileged to live in a multicultural society. Our goal must be one of raising kids who embrace people who aren’t exactly like them. We need to make our kids’ lives richer by getting them to befriend youngsters of different races and cultures. It is great that we have started the process. Now we need to move full steam ahead. This is the surest way of ensuring that we do not have too many toxic football fans in the future.
* Anand Ramphal is an educational psychologist who is a regular contributor to the Daily News Lifestyle pages.
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
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