By Noor-Jehan Yoro Badat
Manto Tshabalala-Msimang was dogged by criticism during her time as minister - but to her husband Mendi she was not only his wife, but also his "love, friend and comrade in arms".
Yesterday, at the former health minister's funeral in Pretoria, her youngest son Mandla - reading his father's tribute - gave this rare insight into a woman who treasured her private life.
"That combination makes me feel all the more lonely at this time," read Mandla to a packed service in the Catholic Cathedral of the Sacred Heart.
"The moments I will miss you are when you say 'Please cuddle me, hold me tight'. It indicated how fortunate it was for us to hold each other with the challenges ahead in life...
"Please whisper to me what to do, like you used to do... When the coffin arrived at the house I could not help but reflect on the last four weeks. The children and I thought you were unwell, but none of us knew how gravely ill you were. I cannot forget the excruciating pain you suffered, mirrored by my pain at not being able to provide you with solace and comfort."
The family had hoped she "would rally around like before with her transplant". Her speedy recovery and tenacity had surprised them all, "but not this time".
Tshabalala-Msimang, 69, died last week of liver complications.
"Remember, my sweetie, how we embarked upon a number of projects allowing us to enjoy our full retirement together.
"Now I have to complete it alone for your sake and the family. You've left a mark every day in my life, in your children, your grandchildren and great-grandchildren... My memories of you are reinforced in their faces."
Mandla read on, his father sharing out loud that his love for Manto would never die.
"One day we will bask in the glory of our love," Mendi wrote.
The coffin, draped with a South African flag, was placed in the front of the church and was flanked by vases of flowers. The inside of the church was reserved for family members, dignitaries, friends and government officials. Two tents were set up outside for the public.
The service was marked with songs, tributes from friends and messages from Nelson Mandela and Thabo Mbeki. Both messages, addressed to Mendi and the family, were read by Tshabalala-Msimang's daughter Zukisa.
Mandela said nothing prepared a person for when a loved died, particularly when death occurred at a sentimental time of the year when the family were together.
For Mbeki, it was "a privilege to have walked the long road" with Tshabalala-Msimang since 1961.
"Circumstances beyond our control have brought us together to bid a final farewell to comrade Manto. To some of us, this sad day will stand out as a beacon along a long road where we have reached a point in which we have to ask: what awaits us on a road that we still have to travel?"
Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga called Tshabalala-Msimang "one of the finest gender activists" and applauded her work ethic.
She told the family that Manto "loved her family dearly", that she carried pictures of them, and how "her face would glow when she talked of her grandchildren".
President Jacob Zuma said the former minister was "among those selfless South Africans who have experienced minimal joy in their lives due to their decision not to surrender until this country and its people were free from racist oppression.
"Some of her fiercest critics cannot claim to have achieved even a quarter of what she has contributed to this country. It is unfortunate that our country has developed a culture of dwelling on the negative and turning a blind eye to achievements. That many of her achievements were not highlighted and recognised in her lifetime is sad and unfortunate," said Zuma.
After the service, the coffin was taken to the Benoni crematorium for a private cremation.