Pure, pristine, precious, safe, healthy, natural, premium. These are words the bottled water industry uses to set their goods apart from the stuff that comes out of our taps.
Clearly, they have to go big on the health aspect, given that tap water is virtually free, while bottled water is around R6 a litre.
Authorities insist our tap water is perfectly clean but bottled sales keep growing, by about 20 percent a year.
Up to now, in the absence of any legislation, bottlers have called their water anything they pleased.
But the department of health has just published its "Regulations Relating to all Bottled Waters" - which will generate quite a lot of business for the printing industry in the coming months.
Many familiar brands are going to require new labels.
For starters, the term "flavoured water" will go, the reasoning being that water with added sugar and flavour ants is a soft drink.
"Bottled water means water that is packed in sealed containers but does not contain sugars, sweeteners (or) flavourings," the rules read.
From July 28, 2007, there will be just three classes of water, and the labels will have to be clear.
- Natural water: Mineral water, borehole water or spring water obtained directly from natural or drilled underground sources. It has virtually nothing added or subtracted, apart from carbon dioxide (the sparkling element).
The label will have to say, "natural mineral water" or "natural spring water"; the name and address of the source; the composition; and what type of water it is (eg "carbonated").
- Water defined by origin: Iceberg, snow, stream, spring or rain - environmental water that is acquired above ground and needs some form of treatment.
The label must say its environmental source; "sparkling" or "still"; the name and address of the source; the method of sanitisation and the chemical composition.
- Prepared water: Water from an "accepted" water supply, such as a municipal source.
The label must say "prepared water"; "still" or "sparkling"; the disinfection method; the chemical composition; and "from a public or private distribution system".
Market leader Valpre - part of the Coca-Cola Company - is labelled as "spring water" and is said be bottled at source in the Fricona Valley, Paulpietersburg.
Whether it is a natural water or "defined by origin" is unclear from the label and a company spokesperson was not available for comment at the time of writing.
Valpre's nearest competitors, Nestle Pure Life and Aquelle, are both from underground sources.
The Nestle product reveals its source as "Deepwaters Estate, Doornkloof" but Aquelle is vague: "Pristine mineral water drawn from a natural underground source".
A brand that will certainly have to head back to the drawing board is Bonaqua, also part of Coca-Cola.
Currently, it's called "premium" water, but soon the label will have to reveal it as "prepared water" because it's actually municipal water purified by reverse osmosis. The label currently doesn't even hint at that.
Bonaqua's website is fiercely defensive of its origin, saying: "The process is a highly advanced form of water preparation, originally invented by Nasa. The two leading water brands in the US are both prepared waters using reverse osmosis."
But consumers seduced by images of pristine mountains generally don't take kindly to the news that they're being sold modified tap water in a smart bottle.
A reader wrote to me recently after hearing that one of the leading brands was "actually tap water".
"I'm not sure, but I think it may be Nestle," he said. So I put this to the company, and received the following response from quality assurance manager Shailen Dheda:
"Nestle Pure Life is sourced from an aquifer found in deep dolomite rock formations at our Doornkloof factory. From the hydrological survey it takes at least 100 years for rainwater to reach the aquifer. Water is naturally filtered to the aquifer through these rock formations:
"We don't have any municipal water lines coming into the factory."
Unsurprisingly, the mineral water brigade has tended to look down on bottlers of tap water-minus-chemicals. Until now, the SA Natural Bottled Water Association has not seen them as eligible for membership.
But now that "prepared water" is to be a bona fide category, the association will drop the "natural" from its title and become the SA National Bottled Water Association instead.
The association has responded to the regulations with delight.
"We've been working with the government for more than six years because we were concerned that non-members might compromise on standards and negatively impact consumers," said chairperson John Weaver.
The association recently collected samples of about 70 bottled water brands countrywide and are busy evaluating their labels.
"It's all about being as transparent as possible to consumers," said the association's technical manager, Charlotte Metcalf.