It's time to talk about pleasure! More specifically, female pleasure - and you are never going to understand it unless you know about the clitoris and the wonderful ways it works.

Now when I get to heaven one day, because of all the education I have done, the Creator and I are going to have a discussion about design faults.

How did the creator put the prostate up a man’s anus and the clitoris on top?!

Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation and not penetration. Just think about that and what it means for how you have sex. What it means in very basic terms is that it doesn’t matter how hard you shove in and out, unless the clitoris is getting some action she will never orgasm.

The clitoris is the only part of the human body, both male and female, that serves no other purpose but pleasure. NO other purpose. So when cultures practise female circumcision, they are depriving that girl of most of her pleasure.

The clitoris and the penis are the exact same body part in utero until a couple of weeks into the pregnancy, when they take different roots to become the clitoris and the penis respectively.

If you have a good look at the clitoris you will notice two things: the glans is a smaller version of the penis glans - just covered by the clitoral hood.

For those who think this is the sum total of this magnificent body part, you are mistaken. This is just the tip! There is a shaft, similar to a penis, and the tissue and nerve endings run down the labia and into the vaginal wall.

Some say the clitoris ends and forms the G-Spot, found inside the vagina on the belly button-side of the body.

This complicated system of tissue and nerve endings is what makes pleasuring the clitoris so difficult.

With the penis, when it is stimulated the tissue engorges and the penis becomes erect.

The clitoris does exactly the same thing! When stimulated it too becomes engorged and pops its head out of the hood, saying hello to the world.

This does not mean it now becomes a target for your inexperienced and over- enthusiastic hands.

The clitoris has thousands of nerve endings, about three times more than the most sensitive tip of the penis. So if you go in hard, it feels like salt on a wound or sandpaper on sensitive flesh.

Be gentle; build up to more friction and stimulation. If you go in too quickly, you have blown it and may have to start the foreplay again.

Some women have clitoral piercings. The piercing is supposed to go through the clitoral hood and in front of the clitoral tissue or behind the clitoral tissue. NOT through the tissue.

The idea is that during penetrative sex, the piercing adds additional and necessary clitoral stimulation leading to increased pleasure. If this is something you want to do, make sure you go to someone who knows what they are doing. You never want to hear, "oops!"

Clitoral vibrators have become increasing popular over the past 10 years. Women have grown far braver to admit they need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Many couples have incorporated vibrators into their foreplay. It speeds up the journey to orgasm, and even if it doesn’t, it significantly increases pleasure.

Partners have to increase their clitoris stimulation skills if pleasure is on the agenda, and why wouldn’t it be? It does require trial and error, because what worked yesterday may not work today.

Those nerve endings are sneaky little buggers and like to play hide and seek.

Now this journey and exploration is not just up to your partner. Unless you know what works for you, your partner stands less than no chance. Sex is a team sport. You have to be coached, listen to the rules and give feedback. Make happy sounds if your partner is getting it right. By the same token, if they are getting it wrong, say so and maybe guide.

Here is hoping your clitoris gets all the attention it needs this week. Email me if you have any questions,

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