#SexColumn: Hot topics for ladies’ night

Hot topics for ladies’ night. Pictures: REUTERS/Chris Helgren

Hot topics for ladies’ night. Pictures: REUTERS/Chris Helgren

Published Jan 12, 2024


BY Sharon Gordon

How about some real hands-on advice, okay maybe not hands – mouth advice. One of the favourite topics at ladies’ night is always, “how to give the best BJ”, so here are the eight best positions for this very intimate activity. Let me preface this column by saying if he won’t go down on you, then I don’t think you should be going down on him, and if you don’t want to, don’t.

All we’re talking about today is positions and not actual technique. You can click on the link if you want to know about those. Let’s start with a classic. I’m sure most of you have done this and just didn’t know it had a name. He lies on his back on the bed, and you kneel or sit between his legs and perform oral sex. It is a great position because it gives full access to the entire length of the shaft, testicles and perineum.

The best BJs take care of the entire organ. This position also allows you to make great eye contact. Eye contact is half the pleasure. Look at him as you would a pair of great shoes, not a smelly bin.

The Lap Dance. This is a great way to get into shape if you’re looking for an alternative exercise routine. In this position, the receiving partner sits on a chair or on the edge of the bed while you kneel or stand in front of him. This position allows your partner to control the angle and depth of the stimulation. This also plays into providing your partner with a sense of power and control.

The Head Rush. The giving partner lies on their back with their head hanging over the edge of the bed or sofa. While the receiving partner stands facing them and receives pleasure. This position can provide intense stimulation and a sense of submission for the giver. It is also a great position for deep throating.

Deep Throating. For some reason, this title always reminds me of illicit movies in the 80s and Debbie Does Dallas (a classic and the beginning of stories in porn movies). This position is all about exploring how far you can go before the gag reflex kicks in. The receiving partner can stand or sit on the edge of a bed or chair while the giver kneels in front and literally deep throats. Go as far as you can. Don’t puke, it’s just not sexy.

Shower Surprise. Nothing surprising here. The water from the shower can add an extra element to the experience. The receiver might have to lean against the wall for extra support and the giver must be mindful not to slip. No clean-up is required. The shower is a great place to get all kinds of frisky.

Which brings me to the Prostate Pleaser. This one requires fingers and lube. If you’re in the shower, use a silicone-based lube as it lasts longer in water play. In this position the receiving partner kneels for better access to the giver. The perineum is the pleasure receiver while the prostate is stimulated with a finger. Be gentle. It is particularly pleasurable for the receiver and can lead to intense orgasms.

The Kitchen Counter is always a favourite. Just remember to wipe it down before you cook. This position is especially exciting because it can be spontaneous. The receiving partner sits on the counter and the giving partner stands or kneels in front. Intimacy is increased by the receiving partner wrapping his legs around the giver.

Face sitting is a reversal of the classic. In this variation the giver lies back, and the receiver kneels over with the giver’s face between their legs. This position is all about control and eye contact.

When trying any of these positions always remember that consent is required and because your mouth may be full you won’t be able to say the safe word – so have a non-verbal safe word. Make sure it’s not something you would use in the normal throes of passion.

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