#SexColumn: Do I have too many sex toys?
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By Sharon Gordon
I recently saw a tweet ‘Sometimes I wonder why my wife has so many sex toys but then I realised I have seven of the same type of screwdriver that are designed for different jobs (and some backups) and it all makes sense now.’ – Wise man.
There is no one adult toy solution although with a bit of imagination we can use toys in many different ways.
Boy toys have come a long way! In the old days there were cock rings and sleeves and very little else.
Cock rings or penis rings are still best-selling toys. Women love them almost more than men. A man wearing a cock ring will maintain his erection for much longer. Vibrating versions of these toys are by far the most popular because they turn him into the vibrator, making play so much more fun. You can still buy cheaper versions of this toy, check out the Bunny VCR. For a mid-price range cock ring, check our OHare. It is rechargeable so you don’t have to run around looking for batteries in the middle of the night.
All the premier brands manufacture their own version of the vibrating penis ring, but my two favourites are from the Satisfyer Range. They are rechargeable, easy to clean and if you don’t want to use them on the penis you can use them in your hand. They are multi speed with several different pulsation modes.
I think penis rings are more a couple toy than a toy for men.
Hot Octopuss is the latest in new toys for men. They do a sleeve that fits over the penis. They market it as a ‘Guybrator’ and uses Pulse Plate Technology. The Pulse comes with a remote control (and which man doesn’t love a remote control?) No stroking is needed.
Fleshlight is another popular brand with many different versions of their cleverly disguised masturbator. You can choose colour, inside texture and a mouth, anus or vagina exterior. Some versions do vibrate but most require stroking. We often recommend these as training devises for men who have a problem with premature ejaculation. With practise they can learn to delay the orgasm response.
Most advancement in recent years has been in prostate massagers. Take a look at the Rock Chick, Aneros and Nexus ranges. Some vibrate and some are manual. It is alleged that Prostate Massage can help prevent Prostate Cancer.
You are not ‘gay’ if you enjoy prostate massage. It is just an additional way to experience sexual pleasure. Many of the prostate massage toys look very similar to G-Spot toys. This may be because the prostate and the G-Spot sit in almost the exact same position on the belly button side of the body, with the exception that the G-Spot is on the inside of the vagina and the prostate on the inside of the male anus.
Which brings us to anal toys for men and women. I am always surprised that men are extremely keen to try anal sex of their partners but are shocked when we return the favour!
The first rule of anal toys is lubricant and lots of it. The second rule of anal toys is – anything that goes into the anus MUST have a handle or a flared base. Unlike the vagina there is no cervix to stop the toy from being sucked into the body! The anus sucks at the point of orgasm (which makes anal sex pleasurable) but what it also does is it can suck the toy up into the body which will require a trip to the emergency room. The nursing staff will not believe you slipped in the shower!
You can read all about prostate massage and anal sex by downloading our short manual on the subject.
Anal sex requires patience. Don’t go big too soon, you have to train the sphincter muscle to relax.
Diogol has gorgeous anal plugs in a variety of colours and sizes with a jewel on the base. Vibrating plugs are also available.
There are toys on the market that have a rabbit, shaft and anal plug all in one. It’s called a Tripler and available from a couple of manufacturers.
Rabbit style vibrators remain as popular as when we first heard about them in ‘Sex and the City’, when Charlotte wouldn’t leave her apartment because of her new toy. Rabbits have consistently remained at the top of the toy best selling list. The rabbit was originally used because it was illegal in Japan to depict genitals accurately, so the bunny seemed an appropriate alternative.
Fortunately for us those bunny ears can work magic on the clitoris while the shaft can swirl or thrust, depending on the make. In the past they were only available in Jelly and battery operated. Now they are available as a rechargeable toy in medical grade silicone. Have a look at Love Honey Happy Rabbit.
I prefer the Rabbit Style toy as a solo toy, but I know many couples who use it as part of their play.
The world of toys can be confusing and overwhelming, but we try to make your choice easier. Watch our YouTube Channel where we discuss each category separately.
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