By Sharon Gordon
It’s time for the Christmas holidays but I suspect that many of us are staying home instead of migrating to Plett, Cape Town or Umhlanga this year. We may still see more stringent lockdown measures especially after the Rage fiasco. Or maybe you can only afford a Staycation. Fear Not! I have some fantastic ideas to keep you relaxed, your relationship intimate and fun. It is tough to forget that you’re at home but do try.
I don’t know about you but the best thing about a vacation that it breaks the usual daily routines and suddenly you’re doing stuff slower and at different times. Try to break your daily home habits. Do not do anything on that list of chores – you’re on holiday remember.
Decide how long your staycation is going to be – I suggest no less than 5 days, 10 if you can and 21 if you are determined. Stick to it! When you’re away even if you are not having the best time we usually stick it out.
Start with the simple stuff – Move your bedroom to a different room and if you can’t, change the furniture around (just for the staycation). Spray your sheets with a linen spray – try coconut it will immediately take you into holiday space.
Get out the candles – thanks to Eskom they are probably close at hand already. Support a craft candle maker in your area.
If you are lucky enough to have a pool, get out the bright swimming towels, clean the cushions and once again move the outside furniture. If you usually go to the beach on holiday – go to the pool. Apply sunscreen every day – nothing says holiday more than sunscreen.
If you don’t have a pool, turn the sprayers on and run through them like you did when you were a kid. Or get water pistols and have a game of tag. Water pistols available at Makro or most toy stores.
Wear only the clothes you would on holiday, so get out the bikini, baggies, T-Shirts, sarongs, shorts and slip slops. Paint your toe nails a holiday colour, try bright pink or my favourite ox blood red.
One of the things I love about going on holiday is the shops always look so different. If you’re brave enough go shopping. You don’t have to buy anything. Go to Wimpy for breakfast. Don’t go to your usual Mall – shake it up a bit and go to the opposite side of town.
A trip into the City Centre will make you feel as if you have gone to some exotic country. I recently went to the most amazing Ethiopian Restaurant smack bang in the middle of town.
Shop for sexy snack, holiday T-Shirt, lubricant and a toy or two. Don’t forget we have the most gorgeous Lola Montez Store open in Hyde park Shopping Centre. There are some great Secret Santa Gifts that won’t break the bank. Try a massage candle or my current favourite a Reindeer Penis Ring.
Get a Henna Tattoo – not too much commitment but exciting.
Holiday sex is different as well. So if you usually get cosy in the morning change it to a different time. Many women’s libido peaks at about three in the afternoon. So send the kids to the pool and you take an afternoon nap.
Change your usual go to sex position. Introduce a toy into your play – start small, a Vibrating Cock Ring, a remote control vibrating Egg or Bullet is ideal. Lola Montez has a Naughty Night Starter Kit which contains everything you’ll need for a naughty night – available in the store mentioned above or online at www.lolamontez.co.za. Place your orders soon because I am going on my Staycation from the 18th.
Go for an evening walk – round the block, in the park or simply down the road. Hold hands, stop and kiss, talk about what you see, plan dinner.
Holiday food is usually simple and easy to prepare or it’s take-out. Do the same on your staycation. Find simple recipes on www.food.com . Cook them together – sip on a glass of chilled wine, listen to music and turn off the television.
For entertainment – go to drive in movies if you can, eat popcorn and drink something green. Take a red city bus tour (not sure if they’re operating at the moment) or go for a drive. Don’t take your usual route – get out and explore.
I have recently discovered a fabulous little hotel at Harties called La Montagne, I go there for lunch or a lazy breakfast. If you can sleep over or drive home after.
Invite friends over for the afternoon, drink cocktails and party hard. Spend the next day in bed – naked, cuddle, explore, nap and eat ice cream.
If you have children – play Marco Polo with them in the pool (it’s what they’ll remember most). Play board games, charades and let them teach you how to play Playstation. Let each child pick an activity and a favourite meal. Do it – even if it means Jelly Tots for breakfast, you’re on holiday remember.
GZ Adventures offer quad bike rides, archery, horse-back rides and much more in several venues across SA. The closest venue to Joburg is Lanseria. Check them out on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GZAdventure
Go to a bookshop and leave notes of encouragement in your favourite books for future readers. Let the children browse in the children’s or craft section. Get ideas on what to do with the kids the next day.
If you live in Johannesburg, Mushroom Park and the Botanical Gardens are beautiful spots for a picnic and a game of soccer or cricket. Lie on a blanket and look at the clouds. See shapes and tell stories.
Support your local businesses – they are also staying at home. Take food, clothes, toys, dog or cat food to your charity of choice. Donate to www.dignitydreams.co.za if you don’t have a preference.
Put up the biggest Christmas Tree you can. If you have decorations use them otherwise make them. Paper and popcorn chains work well as do hollowed out and painted eggs. Go online to get additional ideas try www.hobbycraft.co.uk or www.pinterest.com
Spend a day making gifts for each other and cards for your neighbours.
Bake and decorate cupcakes or cookies. Eat them all in one sitting.
Lie on the grass and look at the stars. Try to spot the satellites, shooting stars and constellations, you can download an app to show you what to look for, try Constellation Star Viewer available from your Smartphone App store.
Try to be on your Staycation for as long as possible. Real Life and work will take over soon enough.
Try to have as much fun as possible, laugh – who knows this may just be the best vacation you’ve ever had.
I’m having a staycation of my own from the 18th till 5 January so until then stay safe. Have a very blessed Christmas or Chanukah. Love your family and friends. Have great sex and if you miss me read my blog for more advise and thoughts – www.blog.lolamontez.co.za
Above all be kind because as it stands now 2021 is going to be full of surprises.
Sharon Gordon is taking a break. She will be back on January 9.