I’ve been doing a clean-out, mainly of old papers from when I got into this game. I am amazed at how much things have changed and how little we’ve changed.
I’ve thrown out price lists from now defunct companies. I see all the newbies thinking that they can change the world.
I’m saddened because I know that so many of them will not survive six months, never mind the next 15 years. That is how long Lola Montez has been around.
I’ve seen toys come in and out (no pun intended) of fashion. Some are evergreen and have just received an upgrade. One of them is Ben Wa balls. They have stood the test of time.
They are first referred to in Chinese writing from about 500BC and in 2018 we are still singing their praises. The design is still the same as all those years ago. Materials have changed as has the name over the years. Yoni eggs, jade eggs, vagina balls, Ben Wa balls, kegel balls and silver balls, to name a few.
In times gone past, and still occasionally today, they are crafted from semi-precious stones including jade or rose quarts. These are egg-shaped and have no string holding them together. More modern versions are manufactured from silicone, PVC, plastic or metal.
There are usually two ball-shaped objects joined by a string, with a second string attached to one of the balls used for removing them. Je Joue makes a set of three single balls, each with a different size and weight and I’ll explain why shortly.
These balls are inserted into the vagina. Yes, you insert both balls all the way in. This can be done with the assistance of your own body fluids or lubricant. The string meant for removing the balls is left sticking out, just like a tampon. Never insert them into the anus.
Now there is always some fear associated with what if the string breaks. Be assured that the cervix will not allow the balls to crawl into your uterus and if you relax and bear down as you would if giving birth they will pop out, no problem.
The bigger problem is keeping them in. If your vagina muscles have started to sag (like your face, bottom, tummy and arms - it is a body part with muscles, after all), chances are that they will try to make their escape at the most inconvenient time.
A word to the wise - make sure your wear them with trousers or firm-fitting panties because there is nothing sexy about them rolling down your leg in the supermarket.
I had a call this week from someone who kept apologising for wanting to know what they actually did. And here is it. Ben Wa balls are dumbbells for your vagina.
They are not much else despite the hype created by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Will you feel sexy because you are wearing them? Absolutely. Will you have multiple orgasms in the car on your way to work or catch yourself a wealthy partner? Doubtful, but good luck with that.
They are, however, amazing, and every woman should own them, especially if you have given natural childbirth.
The other demographic who should really own a pair is everyone who is ageing and starting to lose muscle tone. Did you urinate a bit when you skipped, sneezed or laughed? Then you have to get a set of these because there is nothing sexy about peeing in your pants!
These balls have a number of benefits if you use them just like you exercise, four times a week, at least two hours a day.
Regular use will strengthen your pelvic floor and vagina muscles, which will help prevent a pelvic prolapse and loss of bladder control.
After childbirth it helps get your vagina back into shape by restoring elasticity. It can increase vaginal lubrication, depth, intensity and frequency of orgasm.
I can vouch for all of these. We then step into claims that I can neither admit not deny.
They allegedly can help balance hormones and relieve the symptoms of PMS and menopause. They may be able to reduce heavy bleeding, cramping and fatigue during menstruation.
Claims have been made that they can assist in the healing of sexual trauma , increase creativity, passion and libido.
My best allegation is that we should use them as an anti-ageing practice because they create an energetic lift throughout the body, causing a natural facelift.