Chelsea fans Photo: Hannah McKay/Reuters
Champions are quaffing Moet and Chandon, whilst others digest doom and gloom. Kunzima - it’s tough outchea! A bunch of footy seasons (the world over) will be wrapping up within the next fortnight, from La Liga to Serie A, from EPL to Bundesliga and from Ligue 1 to PSL.

Now we brace ourselves for even more rugby, golf, tennis - and sports that ‘other’ kids enjoy! First up, ‘The Players Championship’ which started last night, and always assembles the best field. The International Sevens roadshow is in Paris.

Back to our main gravy, where Chelsea travel to ‘The Hawthorns’ on Friday night, and will confirm their status as English Champions! Chelsea will be able to celebrate with their fans at Stamford Bridge under the Monday night lights vs Watford. Well played, Chelski!

Now that Chelsea is in, and Sunderland and Middlesbrough are out, we look into the top four race which has ‘all of a sardine’ become interesting again. Gooners collected points at Southampton midweek, and play Stoke on Saturday. It will be on like Miley as they will be one point behind Liverpool, who face West Ham away, before Arsenal travel to Sunderland midweek, and could be ahead by the time you read these bones next week. #Justsaying!

The Scousers’ saving grace is a plum final day home fixture against Middlesbrough. It is a home banker on paper, but nothing is certain when it comes to Liverpool, as we have seen all season. The Gunners’ conundrum is that they face some of their bogey sides in the run in, Stoke followed by Sunderland (playing for pride) and Everton on the final day.

Man United and Jose are aiming to win the Europa League to save the season. Turns out England is not a stroll in London town, eh Pep, Jose? City look safe, as they have inviting home games and an away game on the final day - but beware Leicester this weekend!

Across Europe, Juventus (17/10) are away to Roma (15/10), and Juve will do well to collect a point and wrap up the league this weekend. Then they can concentrate on the double, with a Champions League win in Cardiff, to poop on the Gareth Bale homecoming. Monaco (2/10) are at home to Lille, and this should be the just tonic after their European exit. The title and the freedom of the principality awaits them. Feyenoord (3/10) require a win at pozi against Heracles (10/1) to go Dutch on the tile, but Ajax will be back in the picture if Feyenoord drop points.

Meanwhile, La Liga is going to go down to the wire. Las Palmas should get Messi’d by Barcelona, while multi-tasking Real Madrid (2/10) host Sevilla (14/1).

Aaaand, switch! The oval ball is in Euro knockout mode, as Saracens travel to France to take on Clermont, led by Durban boy Brad “Slick Hands” Barritt. Back your boytjies, Durbz!

Closer to our humble home, go Blues, Highlanders, Canes and Jaguares.

The Mercury