DURBAN – The signs were all over – an air of expectation, even – after the whirlwind week dealing with the world, its cultures, Kanye’s slave talk, IPHC (Google it) and LIFE and football.
As a man on the loose of late, seeking a sneaky nook to lay my eggs, it brings me pleasure to tell all that the sporting Bones have returned.
Whilst SA’s best kept secret (yet to be realised) has been in the doldrums, a lot has happened. Shout out to Miss Lategan for being the catalyst for this weekly wisdom, and Zhu ni hao yun (Good Luck) on your adventure in the Far East!
Right, let’s get to it. The IAAF has done did it again; African countries should withdraw from all further competitions in support of Caster Semenya.
‘Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy, Cheat Cheat Cheat’ have also rocked the sporting world. Oh, how my ancestors revelled in that mini-exposure, where some got away with murder (bowlers, stand-up).
Anyway, let’s get on with these cheeky chops I have for you vandag and for the foreseeable future. For the uninitiated, you must excuse die Totsi taal, maar is ek is in die hartklop by Bloemfontein. Kontrol, asseblief!
So, let’s take it from the top.
Sanele Tshabalala, aka ‘Sports Sangoma’, is back!
Wenger is finally out. Au revoir, Arsene and thanks for many an entertaining year of classy footy. Those who punted on #WengerOut would have done so in this column’s last offering, which means your money did a Spurs – and disappeared!
There is no better opportunity to climb in on the Champions League Final between Salah’s Scousers and Ronaldo’s Madrid.
Zinedine ‘he ain’t done’ Zidane’s boys seek a three-peat, whilst Jurgen’s Top of the Klopp’s fancy themselves to not chicken out in Kiev.
Odds are 23/20 Real Madrid as favourites and 21/10 Liverpool. We shall revisit this closer to crunch time.
Talking crunch, let’s touch on the NBA Playoffs, which you can only watch live if you have fibre/uncapped WIFI – and at some ungodly hour. We pundits make a plan.
Expect Golden State to take the series against New Orleans by Game 5 - they will go 3 up on Saturday at a cheeky 6/10, and the Cavaliers should take a loss this Monday, but still go through.
The Phillies and the Rockets are my next picks to Trump in, as Kanye would say!
Locally, shout out to MaSandawana will be crowned in Bloemfontein this weekend – the Bones may pop by to witness Pitso’s pomp and pageantry.
That’s an eighth league title (Mosimane’s third) to prove his/club’s greatness. Well done Bafana for firing him.
Apparently he may take a year sabbatical, but what are the chances he turns down Bra Motsepe’s sweet offer? Money talks and Steve Komphela walks, kids.
Finally, on to my favourite fare, the stuff of the oval ball. Super Rugby is well under way, and the SA franchises are seeing flames.
We are not alone, as every team from outside the Kiwi flag is pretty damn average. We might as well include Tana’s Blues from the capital Auckland in that assessment.
Lions will carry our flag, as will the Tahs for the cheats – I mean Ozzies.
Base your future bets leading into the playoffs on that obvious logic.
Dip in on the Bulls to upset Stormers. I’d love to take the Saaaks on a 17/10 upset, but I can’t trust these Jekyll and then hide boys as far as I can throw them. That’s the problem when institutions become family affairs
But, that’s a juicy bone to chomp over on another day, kids.
These fresh Bones are over and out!