Cape Town – Excuses or looking for a scapegoat are as much a part of sport as a ball, golf clubs, chess piece or a bat.
“We don’t want to make excuses, but ...” are common at press conferences all over the world. Not all losers are whingers, though, but you get those okes who will talk and talk to try to get you to feel sorry for the fact that they lost or did something bad.
Hansie Cronjé blamed the devil during his match-fixing scandal, Peter de Villiers blamed Bryce Lawrence for the Springboks’ premature exit at the 2011 World Cup and Tiger Woods blamed his “sex addiction” for his fall from grace a few years ago.
Tiger’s excuse is a new one, but it seems people had more sympathy for him than old Hansie and De Villiers.
I must admit, I’m curious as to how one actually goes about curing a sex addiction. Do you go “cold turkey” for a month, or are you subjected to pictures of Susan Boyle or recordings of Joe Pesci’s voice? I hope electric shock is not an option, that would be wrong.
Having a sex addiction may actually be more serious than we think. But it’s certainly one excuse the Premier Soccer League won’t be able to use after another week of controversies.
The PSL puffed out its chest like a bantam cock last week when it denied the City of Cape Town and Ajax Cape Town the opportunity to host the (not so) mighty Liverpool.
I heard through the grapevine that not even our mayor, Aunty Pat, who actually needs to come up with an excuse for her hideous hybrid official car, and a few Reds legends could convince Irvin Khoza and his executives to change their minds.
The PSL’s initial excuse was that they were protecting the integrity of South Africa’s premier cup competition and the sponsors of the Nedbank Cup. But it was not like Ajax and the City were going to ambush the cup final, because the two matches would have been played in two different cities and on two different days.
This week, the PSL sent out a mail saying that the National First Division trophy won’t be handed to the team who finishes on top of the log because of various disciplinary hearings that need to be sorted out.
These hearings involve the games that were boycotted by the majority of the NFD teams at the start of the season. Goodness only knows why this wasn’t sorted out earlier, or why the matches weren’t played during the lengthy Africa Cup of Nations break.
Now you are sitting with a situation where some teams have played more matches than others, which could lead to all sorts of complaints at the end of the season, especially as the championship race is so tight.
So, expect court cases galore at the end of the season, and the start of the next campaign to be delayed because of unresolved issues.
I don’t know which excuses the PSL are going to come up with in future. The devil is already taken, Bryce Lawrence has been used and sex might be too hard to believe.
So, the best thing might just be to own up when they have been at fault. It’s the right thing to do.
TWEETS OF THE WEEK
@JessicaMotaung_ (The daughter of Kaizer Motaung, and the Kaizer Chiefs marketing manager, sets the record straight): We are the 2012/2013 PSL Champions Kaizer Chiefs. #AbsaPremiership #GloryReclaimed #ReclaimingTheGlory
@madasneves (Vasco da Gama chairman Mario das Neves is right on the money): Sir Alex Ferguson will be remembered in Football history in the same breath as Pele, and Maradona. That’s how brilliant he has been. Respect.
@BigJohnTerry (A parody account makes fun of Chelsea skipper John Terry after he again put on his team kit to celebrate with his Chelsea teammates despite not playing in the Europa League final): Is it a bit weird that I’ve got my kit on, put my shin pads on and even rubbed a bit of mud on my knees? If you’re gonna do it, do it right.
WHO TO FOLLOW
@Zuma_Sibusiso: Follow the veteran striker to find out how long his bandy legs will still carry him.
* Follow John Goliath on Twitter: @JohnGoliath82
* Send us your views – email@example.com – Cape Times