Attracting guys has never been a problem for Julie, 34, who has been proposed to an astonishing four times.
“My friends can’t understand why even so-called players want to run down the aisle with me,” she says. Julie is irresistible, and so are plenty of other women like her – so what do they all know that we don’t? We present to you their secrets. Soak them up and get ready to do some super-attracting of your own.
Go out looking for a good time, not your future husband
Rule No 1 is don’t go hunting. “Too many girls focus on meeting ‘the one’ when they should just be looking for a fun night out,” says Amber, 26, who’s known for nabbing guys of all stripes. Hipsters, bankers, sailors – you name it – have all been hopelessly hooked.
“When you’re out seeking your ‘penguin’ – you know, because penguins mate for life – men sense that, and no guy wants or needs that kind of pressure.”
Adam LoDolce, author of Being Alone Sucks! agrees: “There’s nothing more appealing than the girl who carries herself like she’s having a good time,” he says, “Who wouldn’t want to be around her?” So grab a martini and enjoy yourself.
Never bash other women
Another insight man magnets share: being catty will get you nowhere with guys. Men want to know that you’re confident, not nasty.
“Think about it, your guy has a mom, sisters and female friends he’ll want you to spend time with,” says Marie, 29, whose male buddies are all in love with her (or so her girlfriends claim). “Showing a guy that it won’t be a nightmare to bring you to a family dinner or introduce you to his friends is a good first step.”
Meredith, 23, sums it up in this way, “Someone else’s strengths don’t make you look bad – but being jealous and insecure does.”
We’re not talking Jersey Shore easy; we’re talking easy-going. Guys are drawn to girls they can picture themselves having fun with, in a crummy bar or a fancy restaurant.
“Men appreciate that I can hang out with their friends, kill it at a work do and chill with them at home,” says LaNora, 32, who’s been single for just three months in her 15 years of dating. “It boils down to charm and an ability to roll with the punches.”
Don’t dress for girls
The super-trendy stuff you’d wear to impress your girlfriends often leaves men cold. The guys that Glamour recently spoke to gave the thumbs down to jumpsuits (“How do you even pee?” asks Thomas, 36) and harem pants (“MC Hammer is calling,” quips Kyle, 30).
But you don’t have to squeeze into a Kardashi dress to get his attention, either.
What’s universally sexy, according to men? A woman in a white tee, cute-butt jeans and a pair of heels. Done and done.
Be (genuinely) busy
This trick is not about playing hard to get; it’s about having so much great stuff going on in your world that he wants to be a part of it.
“Women who are genuinely busy feel more fulfilled, happier and more confident – three powerful magnets for attracting men,” says Dr Angelica Perez-Litwin, a psychologist and relationship counsellor.
Michelle, 30, who’s had more than a few male friends confess love for her, says: “If a man has to choose between a clingy beauty and an unavailable average girl, he’ll choose the average girl every time.”
Two words: no moaning
When your boss is blowing up your cellphone after hours and your sister is insisting you wear pistachio-and-melon-striped chiffon to her wedding, it can be easy to slip into a monologue about why life sucks.
Don’t go on and on. “You’ll look like a drama queen, and if there’s one thing all guys hate, it’s drama,” says Christina, 31, who’s been told her fun-loving attitude gives her that certain je ne sais quoi. Adam agrees: “It’s impossible to flirt if you’re complaining.”
Show your ambitious side
Guys love women who have passions in life, so show yours.
“When my husband and I were dating, he would always tell me how much my ambition inspired him to be better,” says Jessica, 34. For Alexa, 20, fulfilling her dream of running her own fashion company caused a noticeable spike in male attention.
“Girls who are motivated to accomplish their dreams show drive and determination – guys love those qualities,” she says.
Sharing your goals up front also affects the type of guy you attract. “High-calibre men are drawn to ambitious women,” Adam believes. “I hate it when women worry about intimidating men. If a guy is intimidated by you, he doesn’t deserve you.” Amen.
Be who you’d want to date
It sounds simple, but you can’t look for a man who is secure, self-assured and emotionally evolved if you’re not all of those things yourself. It’s basic relationship karma.
Lina, 31, makes a good point: “If you wouldn’t want to date yourself, how can you expect someone else to want to date you?” Nadara, 31, who always seems to have a man, agrees: “If you haven’t figured out who you are yet, you can’t possibly know what you want in a guy.”
Perfect the art of sexting
“So much flirting isn’t done in person,” says Thaisa, 32. But you don’t have to be explicit – it’s better if you’re not (so embarrassing the next day). And there’s one super-attractor SMS that never fails to get him excited to see you. Ready? “Come play.”
l This story is excerpted from Glamour magazine