Opinion - “Hello Uncle”. How do you react to that?
It is something that is endemic to Indians. Strangely enough the habit is common throughout the world where there is a concentration of Indians.
Trawling through the internet I see dozens of articles written with the title: “Don't call me Aunty.”
It shows that it has become a lively topic of conversation as it has stirred up some people's ire.
Personally, I find it irritating and very much condescending. I will explain my view soon.
Others have interesting ways of staving off being called uncle or aunty.
The most common retort to being called “uncle” is: “I didn't marry your aunty”, or sometimes it could be a tad more vulgar.
The stock response to being asked why you're calling me uncle is that it is a matter of respect.
On a very good day, I graciously accept that explanation. Most times I protest against it.
Respect
Some may attribute my attitude to pride or arrogance. Others may say that we do not want to admit that we are not young anymore.
Really, which sane person would admit that? Holding on to our youth is what gets us through well getting old.
Let's analyse this further using myself as a sounding board for the nation.
If I am confronted with that label by an individual under 18 years of age, I will grudgingly accept it, especially if said person does not know my name.
However, I draw the line at my newspaper delivery man.
The term "delivery boy" certainly cannot be attributed to him.
He is advanced in years, though quite sprightly. Yet, I think that if his father was still alive, his age would be in 3 digits.
So he comes along every Sunday morning to collect the weekly paper delivery money.
I'm invariably greeted and told: “Thank you, Uncle”. The first time it happened I did not know whether to laugh or cry.
The sheer absurdity of the situation boggled my mind. Then it started to embarrass me and then it irked me.
One fine Sunday, I told him in a kind way that he is much older than me and must please refrain from calling me uncle.
A few weeks went by and a very nervous delivery man popped by regularly to collect the money.
The poor man was a fumbling wreck as he just could not fathom out how to address me.
I told him my first name many times but he refused to call me Ravi.
Now that I say is one heck of an example of respect. Now and again it is back to calling me uncle. I just chuckle inside and bear it.
So, why do we Indians practise this tradition? Why is it that we would never call another race “Uncle” or “Aunty” but we reserve it for our fellow race? Are we blessed?
It harks back to our early days I suppose.
When we grew up we were told to respect our elders and not to call them by their name.
So the next line of defence was to call them aunty or uncle. Certainly not disrespectful. Back then we were younger. It was appropriate.
As we mature, we can progress to sir or ma'am when addressing a stranger.
As we grow older, it is kosher to call a person by their surname with the prefix of Mr or Mrs.
Then when we are middle-aged or older, calling a person by their first name, if we know them, would be the way to go.
There are other condescending terms that grate on people's nerves too. For example, calling someone “Boss”.
You are actually demeaning yourself by doing that. Even if the person is your manager, why should you call him boss? He does not own you.
The same applies to that oh-so-irritating term: “Howsit Larnie”.
Dignity
Show the proper respect according to the level of office but do not bow and scrape to any human. Preserve your self-respect and dignity.
Back to my original gripe. If I allow any Tom, Dick or Harripersadh to call me “Uncle”, then as I grow older, I shudder to think that they will call me “Grandpa”. It will be somewhat of a natural progression.
All of my reasoning above is in no way to tell you how to bring up your children or how to run your life. It is just a pet peeve that I had to get off my chest and fortunately I have the platform to do it.
Agree with me or agree to disagree. After all, dear reader, what do I know? Well, the one thing that I do know, is that I am NOT your uncle!