Alcoholics Anonymous South Africa (AA) commemorated their 75th anniversary on Monday, October 18.
To mark the event, volunteers and members are spreading awareness around alcoholism and the support that the AA offers.
In an attempt to help readers understand, three alcoholics shared their stories with POST:
*Brandon, 27: ‘A trap for youth’
*Brandon resides in Sydenham. He said alcoholism grips people at any age, including in their youth. He first got a taste for alcohol at the age of nine. By 11-years-old he started drinking more regularly.
“Growing up, I wasn't aware about alcoholism or that it was a disease. For me, as a young kid, drinking was a normal part of life. It was something I saw people do around me, something that I thought you did naturally as you grew older.”
By the age of nine, he started experimenting with alcohol. “I’d steal and drink at family ceremonies and functions. My first proper drink was probably around the age of 11-years-old.
“It felt like my life was normal, and I was a part of something. Growing up, I’d always felt different, like I didn't fit in. I always felt that everybody else knew how to live correctly, as if they had a manual to life and they knew how to do it. But I was always doing things wrong, and I didn't know what to do when I didn't fit in. When I picked up that drink, it felt like I was in control. Alcohol then became my coping companion.”
But Brandon said the feeling was deceptive.
“I had become like a violent drunk. It was unbearable, and my parents eventually kicked me out of the house just before my matric year. I didn't realise my drinking was a problem until then. My parents arranged for me to stay with relatives in uMlazi, just for a geographical change, in the hopes that things would get better.
“But that’s the thing with alcoholism. It’s not the environment around you. It’s a disease you carry inside of you. I took my disease with me. I went to uMlazi and caused the same problems that I had caused at home.”
While in uMlazi, during a blackout (when an alcoholic seemingly functions but they are actually not aware of what they are doing), he called his parents and asked to come home.
“It was in my matric year. My parents said that if I really want to come home, I needed to go to rehab and prove that I’m committed to changing. That was the only reason I went to rehab, not because I realised I had a problem, but because I wanted to get back home.”
Brandon said it was only when he heard others share their stories in AA meetings that he realised he, too, had an alcohol addiction.
“I started identifying myself in their stories, and that's when I realised I needed help. The way that I drank was not normal. I had to concede to my innermost self that I was an alcoholic.”
He joined the AA after his matric finals in December 2012 and is still an active member.
“I’ve been sober since then. I got the chance to live like a normal person again, and I took it. Alcohol addiction deceived me as a young man. As youth, we deal with low self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence and self-awareness. Alcohol gives you a false sense of identity and assurance. In the moment, you feel happy and emotionally content. It gives you the courage to approach people and situations, to talk to girls, to go to clubs. But when the alcohol wears off, all the hard feelings come back.
“You can’t run away from alcoholism. When I lived in uMlazi, I took my alcoholism with me. When I came back to Sydenham after rehab, I remained sober. It's got nothing to do with the environment around you. It’s about you and the decision you make that you are ready to fight this,” he said.
*Pat, 55: ‘A disease that takes control’
Growing up in Stanger, *Pat witnessed his father drinking a lot.
“It started off as an experimental thing for me as a young person. I was around 14-years-old when I picked up my first drink. You find you want to try it, but then you start reacting differently towards it. I found that I gravitated more and more towards alcohol. My weekends, all my social activities always centred around alcohol.”
He said it was only later in life, after marriage and having a family, when he became aware of a possible problem.
“I still wouldn’t admit that I had an alcohol addiction. I never saw myself as suffering with alcoholism. I always assumed that I could control it when I wanted to. But every time I tried to control it, I couldn't. Every time that I tried to stop, I couldn't.
“It was only after joining the AA that I learned that alcoholism is defined as a two-fold illness – an obsession of the mind and an allergy of the body. Your mind convinces you that you need to drink. The thought of having a drink becomes an obsession to the extent that it overrides all other reasoning, like that you don't have the money to buy a drink or that you have other responsibilities, or that you need to go to work.
“Your mind tells you that all you need to do is just have one drink, but when you have that one drink, it sets off an energy in your body towards alcohol. This physical energy presents itself as a craving. The body takes over because the body wants more and more of the alcohol. So you start to drink to satisfy a craving beyond your control.”
After 30 years of sobriety, Pat said the most difficult part of sobriety is starting. “The most difficult thing for anyone to overcome on this journey is to admit that they have a problem. Many will regard that as a moral failing, but it's not a moral failing. You are dealing with a disease. The alcoholic is not a bad person trying to be good. We are sick people trying to get better.”
*Joelene, 65: ‘AA gave me my family back’
*Joelene, now a resident of Durban central, was born and raised in the UK.
It was during her teen years that she started drinking socially with friends, but by her 30s, alcohol became a constant in her life.
“I drank 24 hours a day. It never occurred to me that I was an alcoholic. It was my late husband who recognised that I was struggling with alcoholism, but I could not see it. It was only around the age of 52 that I accepted that I was an alcoholic.
“In AA, we talk about an invisible line, that once crossed, you can’t say no to a drink. When I look back, I would say I reached that point in my 30s. I drank very heavily during those years. Having a drink consumed my every thought. I had no control.”
Joelene said being an alcoholic led to her leaving her family.
“I walked out of a 16-year marriage. I left my 13-year-old son with the parent who wasn't battling with alcoholism. It has taken 13 years of sobriety for my son to accept me and to accept that I really am working hard every day at staying sober.
“That was difficult for me to come to terms with, as a mother, that I had damaged this young man. But, it was a big wake-up call for me. The despair that we see and carry, particularly as mother's, because of the neglect that our children suffer because of alcoholism. It took my son almost 13 years to forgive me.
“I have grandchildren in my life now who are part of my life because I'm sober. They wouldn't be in my life if I was drinking. It just wouldn't happen. And this is what the AA programme has given back to me.”
She encouraged people to look out for early warning signs of alcoholism. “Watch how somebody drinks. An alcoholic doesn't know how to sip a drink. We simply don't. We guzzle our drinks. And we will not leave any drink behind until it’s all finished.”
Joelene said the first step toward sobriety starts with just coming through to an AA meeting.
“When I went for my first AA meeting, there was an attraction. Listening and hearing about what people had done when they were under the influence, I thought, that sounds like me. It is actually a huge relief to realise that there are other people out there who are just like me.
“You just have to be willing to accept that maybe I do have a drinking problem. You just have to take that first step. Go to that first meeting, in person or join a Zoom meeting, you don't have to say anything, just listen.”
She said many people think they can go cold turkey. “I went cold turkey once for a few days to get a quick detox. Personally, I would not recommend it at all. The AA 12-step programme of recovery has more support. When I was sober, my husband fell terminally ill. I watched him die second by second, and in that time, I didn't need to take a drink. He died when I was two years and three months sober. I didn't need to drink to get through that, and that was because of the support of the AA meetings.
“Just attend a meeting and listen. If you're an alcoholic, like me, you will hear somebody say something that sounds similar and familiar to you,” said Joelene.
More about AA
Alcoholics Anonymous South Africa – founded 11 years after Alcoholics Anonymous was established in the USA in 1935 – commemorated 75 years of existence on October 18.
A statement said the non-profit organisation, which is run by its members on a voluntary basis, has helped thousands of South Africans recover from alcoholism.
*Joe P, a trustee on the board of AA South Africa, said: “On any day or night of the year, those seeking help from the awful grip of alcoholism will find the help of AA at the end of a phone line, in AA meetings in cities and towns across South Africa, and online via Zoom or WhatsApp.”
He said the AA’s origins in South Africa can be traced back to two people.
“In 1946 Reader’s Digest published an article entitled ’My Return from The Half-world Of Alcoholism’. The article had been extracted from an American Alcoholics Anonymous publication titled ’The AA Grapevine’. This story was responsible for two separate enquiries from South Africans who had little or no control over their alcohol consumption,” said Joe.
He said the first occurred in an unrecorded month in 1946.
“Solomon M., a black translator at the Johannesburg Law Courts, was hungover and wandering the streets of Alexandra Township on the outskirts of Johannesburg, when he found a copy of Reader’s Digest, containing the above-mentioned article, in an overflowing rubbish bin, which he took home as he had nothing else to read. That incident was about to change his life forever. His last bender had brought him and his family to the brink of starvation. Having nothing better to do, he paged through the Reader’s Digest and found this article on an organisation called Alcoholics Anonymous.
“This appeared to be the answer to his prayers. At last Solomon M. had found something that had given him hope. He hurried back to his one-roomed shack and immediately wrote to the address given in the article. He soon had a reply, which included extracts from the ’AA Big Book’. This information enabled him to acquire and maintain sobriety. Solomon M. became the first member of AA in South Africa; he never started a group but remained sober for many years,” said Joe.
He said on October 14, 1946, a group of prominent Johannesburgers helped a man by the name of *Arthur S., an alcoholic stockbroker, to start the very first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.
“Arthur S. was the second person to write to AA and subsequently, finding help and sobriety. Because Solomon M. never started an AA meeting, it is this later date that is recognised as the official beginning of Alcoholics Anonymous in South Africa,” said Joe.
How AA works
Joe said the AA is in the recovery business.
“AA exists to carry the message to the still-suffering alcoholic. AA members do this by sharing their experience, strength and hope with each other and to help prospects find and maintain sobriety. There are no fees or dues for membership; in fact, anyone can join if they have a desire to stop drinking. However, AA is a self-funding organisation and relies on contributions from AA members, on a voluntary basis.
“AA is not a general aid organisation; it is a fellowship of people who have a desire to get and remain sober. It is through their 12-Step recovery programme that AA members guide and mentor those willing to apply themselves to attain and maintain their sobriety. AA does not employ professionals. It works by alcoholics talking to each other and helping them to learn what it takes to become and stay sober,” he said.
“AA is relevant, AA is needed, and AA members are willing to help where they can, anywhere in South Africa,” said Joe.
*Not their real names. The AA does not reveal the real names of their members, volunteers and trustees. AA’s national helpline number is: 0861 HELP AA (435722). Learn more about alcoholism and AA’s solution on their website.