'I've raised independent girls,' says Joburg mom

Rhoda Naidoo with daughters Addison (5) and Mia (23 months).

Rhoda Naidoo with daughters Addison (5) and Mia (23 months).

Published Apr 15, 2018

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Durban - Rhoda Naidoo, a mother of two young daughters, believes children who sleep in their own bedrooms learn independence.

The 33-year-old, of Johannesburg, said during her first pregnancy she decided Addison, now 5, would have her own bedroom.

The little girl has slept in her own room since her first day home from the hospital.

Her younger sister, Mia, now 23 months, followed suit.

“When I tell my family and friends that the girls sleep on their own, they are often shocked and ask me why. 

"This decision was made after much thought.”

Naidoo and her husband, Prin, 37, a logistics and supply chain manager, had weighed up the pros and cons during her pregnancy.

“I always thought about what type of mother I wanted to be and what type of children I wanted to raise,” said Naidoo, a speech language therapist, pictured.

“For me it was a personal decision to have them sleep on their own. Coming from a medical background, I researched co-sleeping and knew I wanted independent children, but I would still be there when they needed me.” 

She said she had never rocked or tapped her girls to sleep.

“I would feed and burp them and place them in their cots. I would then put the lamp shade on, kiss them goodnight and leave the room. 

"They looked at their little mobile above their cot or the colourful decoration on the walls and fell asleep.”

She continued: “I also learnt their routines. So I knew when they were awake and needed me for a feed or change. It is just as tiring as co-sleeping, as you still break your sleep at least three to five times a night.”

Naidoo said she was proud to have independent daughters.

“My children love having their own space, especially when Addison’s friends come over for play dates and see she has her own room. They are so impressed she sleeps on her own. It boosts her confidence.”

The couple are able to enjoy their personal space.

“It is not only about intimacy, but after a long or a bad day, we can sit and chat without having children listening in on adult conversation. 

"I believe that after you have children, your relationship should not be affected. I still have to fulfil my duties as a wife along with those of a mother. I also never wanted to be a helicopter mother, who is always hovering over her children.

“As a parent you will look at what works for you. Everyone is different.”

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