Durban - A Phoenix great-grandfather sobbed as he pleaded guilty to murdering his bedridden wife saying she had begged him to kill her.
Nundkumaran Poonusamy Pillay, 64, appeared in the Durban High Court on Wednesday before Judge Shyam Gyanda.
His 69-year-old common law wife Dhunalutchmee Naidoo was found with her throat slit in their home in Eastbury on April 8.
Soon after the murder, Pillay handed himself over to police at the Phoenix Police Station.
In his plea statement read out in court by his legal aid attorney, Pragasen Marimuthu, he states that on the day of the murder his wife told him that she did not want to live like how they were living and begged for him to kill her.
In the statement, Pillay said they had often had no money for basic essentials.
"She started crying and she told me that she felt bad for everything that she has to put me through every day. She begged me to kill her."
Pillay said they spoke of their son who had passed on due to cancer and of their families who won't even miss them when they are gone.
"We both were crying when she asked me to do it."
For Pillay, something had felt different on that day.
The court heard that he then took the pillow from the bed and tried to suffocate her.
"I failed. I didn't have enough strength and she pushed me off. My wife was a large woman. She told me that she did not want to die like that, she told me that it would be better if I stabbed her and finished her. She begged me to end her suffering. She was crying. I was crying too."
Pillay said he fetched the knife and stabbed her once on her throat.
"I never slit her throat. I stayed with her, holding her hand until she took her last breath. I cried as I watched her pass away. After she passed, I kissed her on her forehead and I told her that I loved her. I told her that I will see her soon."
The court heard that the couple would have celebrated their 45th year together. They were never married as they did not have the means for a wedding.
Pillay said they had a tough life with their only means of income being their joint pension of R3100.
"We were never financially stable and we own no assets except the clothing and the little furniture. My wife was bedridden for almost three years and I was taking care of her, on my own. I did everything for my wife, I cooked for her, I cleaned the house, I aided her to the toilet, I cleaned her when she had messed herself and the bed. I washed our clothing. I did everything. I didn't mind taking care of my wife because I loved her, I still do, She was never a burden to me."
Pillay said the health of both his wife and himself had deteriorated over the last three years.
"My wife and I would have regular discussions about how hard our lives were and she would often say that she wished that she was dead and continuously asked why God didn't open the gates for her. Listening to her speak like this used to hurt me. She would continuously say that I must help her, by killing her."
Pillay said he begged his wife to seek medical assistance and even tried to admit her to a home.
"When I tried to get her treatment she would cry. I did not like to see her cry so I let her be. I regret killing her, after her death, I hardly sleep or eat, I see her every time I close my eyes, I continuously playback the events that happened on that day, I really miss her and I wish I hadn't listened to her."
Pillay said he knew the people are saying that he killed his wife because he was fed up,
"I want people to know that I never killed my wife for myself. My wife was my everything. We had nothing but each other I did what I did not because I was tired of taking care of her, I did what I did because I loved her so much and I wanted to end her suffering."
The matter was adjourned for sentencing in May.