LIFESTYLE - Are we really living in what is our “new normal”?
While this is a statement used often lately, Rakhi Beekrum, a Durban counselling psychologist, put forward recently that this is not the new normal, but simply “the now”.
Beekrum addressed a webinar on Covid-19 and mental health matters, hosted by the POST on its Facebook page.
She engaged with many readers, who tuned in to hear her advice and ask questions.
“Life before the pandemic was normal. This is not the new normal. This is simply the now,” said Beekrum.
“Having looked at pandemics in the past, things will normalise. For now, this is simply where we are.”
Encouraging those who may be feeling anxious, depressed and fearful, Beekrum said these were normal feelings to have.
“We started off 2020 with great visions and plans, and then the pandemic happened. But this is an obstacle in the road. It doesn’t mean all is lost. It means we need to recalibrate and find a way forward.”
Beekrum said there were some positives to come out of the pandemic, like that it made us see values more clearly.
“It will be a great pity if we come out on the other side of this unchanged. We must ask ourselves - how are we going to be better? Who are we going to be on the other side of this? How can we come out of this as better, more compassionate human beings?”
She suggested we ponder the positives like our “post-traumatic growth”.
“How can we grow from this and become better, stronger and more resilient from this experience? Let’s try to take away positives from this experience.”
Beekrum suggested a number of coping mechanisms to help adjust to the change.
She shared some tips:
- Take back control over what makes you stressed:
- Be clear about what is stressing you out and what you can do to gain back control.
- Slow down anxious thoughts. Don’t spend every waking hour wondering what is going to happen.
- If you’re feeling burnt out, you need time to slow down and do nothing for a while.
- If you feel depressed, talk to a friend, watch a comedy, meditate or pray. Think of how you can take back the control.
- Avoid triggers: Our triggers, the things that set us off and make us angry, are trying to tell us that we have not set a boundary, for example, social media comments/posts, or people not complying with the lockdown. Remember, you are not the police. Let them do the job. Focus on what is in your control.
Technology use:
- Try to avoid looking at your phone first thing in the morning. We wake up like a fully-charged battery. And the more apps and things we look at on our phones, the more our battery is drained. So start out days more mindfully.
- Switch off at least one hour before bedtime.
- Charge your phone away from you at night.
- If your sleep breaks, don’t look at your phone.
- Ask yourself: what are you gaining from the time you spend online?
- Are you feeling more anxious or irritable after watching too much news? Balance this by reading something lighter or for leisure.
- Have tech-free zones like bedrooms, dinner tables and family rooms. Don’t lie in bed watching TV or streaming on your laptop.
- Protect your peace at this time. Don’t scroll through every social media news feed and comment on every post or remark.
Juggling family commitments and work:
- Plan your day and know what’s expected of you. Have a routine to prevent time-wasting.
- Communicate your needs to those who are around you. People can’t read your mind. Think about what you need help with and ask nicely, not critically. Be careful of your tone when communicating this.
- Set aside family time. If you are juggling too many things, it means you will not be present and will become frustrated.
- Share the burden with your family. Tell them what you need help with, what time you need for work, what time you need for time out etc.
- Express to them what would make the running of the home easier during this time.
- Communicate to your family that when you are here, you are busy with work and you will only be available out of work hours. At family times, switch off the phone/laptop.