Opinion - I have a lot of friends and family who are soccer mad.
They can argue for hours on the merits of selecting a certain player and conduct a detailed analysis on the performance of their chosen team.
They wear the shirts of their chosen team, and as if this is not drastic enough, they dress their children in the kit as well.
Some families have running battles because they support different teams and in extreme cases, they can come to blows or fall into a deep depression if their team loses.
More often than not, they blame the manager and sometimes even the referee.
Start a conversation about soccer with them and they are in their element, but start a conversation about politics and the discussion fizzles out with comments such as “I’m not worried about politics, bru”, or “There’s not much we can do about the state of the country”, and then the conversation reverts to soccer with, “How was that goal that Salah scored!”
I often thought that if some of these people expended the same amount of energy in discussing politics and social issues, the country would be a better place.
Perhaps the problem is that they do not understand or enjoy politics like they do soccer, but it’s not that much different. Let me break it down for you.
A few weeks ago, the player/manager of the African National Club resigned because of pressure from the club’s fans, who felt that he, much like Arsene Wenger at Arsenal, was not delivering as a manager.
The fans were tired of him benching some key players when the team was not doing well at all.
They had lost several key games in Johannesburg, Tshwane, Nelson Mandela Bay and Cape Town and it looked like they were going to lose the National Championship in 2019.
Something had to be done. They were unhappy that the player/manager, let's call him JZ, was ruled offside by the referee (public protector) and the FA (Constitutional Court) confirmed the decision.
He was not playing by the rules and brought the club into disrepute.
He was also accused of bringing in his own sponsors and allowing them to dictate which player should be selected.
It seemed that these sponsors were trying to make a lot of money by throwing matches in order to make money from the bookies.
His supporters responded by accusing the referee of being biased.
The club wanted a new player/manager who would restore faith in the club and draw back the lost supporters.
So they elected the assistant manager, Cyril Ramaphosa, to manage the team.
Almost immediately, he invoked the name of Mandela (the Ferguson of politics) and reminded supporters of the glory days.
Ramaphosa was the chosen one. Everyone was happy and they rejoiced by chanting, “Pick me, pick me”, as if they were being selected for the school team.
The supporters were happy for the first time in almost 10 years and they wanted the chosen one to make immediate changes to the team.
They wanted him to bring back star goalkeeper Nene and solid midfielder Gordhan.
They didn’t like Gigaba in the nets because he was like Mignolet.
There were a few other players they also wanted him to get rid of.
They demanded that players like Bathabile Dlamini (who often wandered offside), David Mahlobo (who played for the Russians), Des van Rooyen (who only played in weekend matches) and Bongani Bongo (who tried to bribe an official) be shown the red card and put on a free transfer.
But Ramaphosa, like most managers, could not please everyone.
Not only did he have to satisfy people from his own club, he also had to include players from AmaZulu, Pirates and Chiefs (Cosatu and the SACP).
Some commentators said he had to appoint a woman assistant manager, but the Women’s League and the Youth League from 20000 leagues under the sea didn’t support this idea.
To make matters more complicated, they were afraid that the former manager would start his own Pirates Team with players from KZN if his special one, Dlamini Zuma, was not selected as well.
The opposing teams protested that the whole of Fifa had to change because the game had become tainted. We all know what happened to Sepp Blatter.
Everything was on a knife edge: Who would he select? Who would he leave out?
The analysts gathered on TV and on social media to offer their views before the match of the day.
And the more the announcement was delayed, the more the analysts analysed.
Then Ramaphosa stepped up to the podium. We held our breath.
Was he going to excite us with the announcement that South Africa was going to host the Fifa World Cup or was he going to disappoint us by announcing that France would host the Rugby World Cup?
Then he announced the changes: Gordhan would ensure that more of your tax money didn’t get flushed into SAA, Transnet and Eskom; and Nene would play in the goals again and prevent further downgrades from eating into your savings.
The two women who were touted for the assistant manager’s role, Sisulu and Pandor, would represent you internationally and look after your children at university or college.
That news was received quite well.
Gigaba was asked to play in the defender position in home affairs, Cele was appointed to look after your safety and security, and Dlamini was moved away from looking after your social pensions and grants.
Muthambi, Bongo, Brown, Zwane and a few others were put on free transfer, but no other club wants them, even for free.
Ramaphosa’s assistant manager is David "the cat" Mabuza. He played in the Mpumalanga Premier League before joining the National Team.
And there you have it: politics is exactly like Premier League soccer and if you are aware of what’s going on, you would be able to influence the quality of your life.
That’s not something you can do by supporting soccer teams in England.
I wish Ramaphosa and his team the best of luck with the National Championships next year and I hope they don’t FA Cup the country until then.