Durban - A young gay gay couple’s dream of tying the knot in a traditional Tamil wedding went up in flames after a temple official allegedly turned them away, describing their union as “not correct”.
The infuriated Phoenix couple, who declined to be named for fear of victimisation, believe officials at the Umgeni Road Hindu Temple denied them permission due to their sexual orientation.
They were allegedly told that such weddings could not be conducted at the temple.
The couple, both aged 25, said such thinking in this day and age was closed-minded.
“We want to know why are people still living in the past era?,” asked one of the men, an administrative supervisor.
“We were in utter disbelief after being told our marriage would go against the temple’s values and that they would not do it, as it was ‘not correct’.
This is discrimination. We are paying clients. Yes, our wedding is different as we are two men, but why can’t we have our venue of choice? Now we have had to push our June wedding back a few weeks as we search for a new venue.”
The couple began dating seven years ago, after they met at a library, and were engaged in 2016.
“We believed it was time to take the next step,” he said.
He added they initially planned on getting married at a high end hotel on Durban’s beachfront but due to safety regulations the idea had to be canned.
“It would not have been possible as a hawan (fire altar) is used during a Hindu wedding ceremony. We understood the hotel’s regulations and then opted for a ceremony at a temple.
“We also wanted a venue that had a hall, as we wanted the ceremony and reception to take place at one place. Our guest list included between 50 to 70 of our closest family and friends.”
He said they had their hearts set on the temple after his partner, a customer service agent, visited the venue in December.
“It was really beautiful. But when he called a few days later and explained to the person, who said he was a committee member, that we were homosexual and hoped to get married there, he said he would need to speak to the temple committee.
“We called back a few days later and the senior priest said he would not be able to conduct the ceremony as he had never conducted a homosexual marriage before. We respected his decision.
'Concurred with the couple's view'
“But when we asked the committee member if we could hire out the venue, he was abrupt and turned us away. He said what we were doing was ‘not correct’.”
Since then, the couple have managed to find a Hindu priest who will perform the necessary rituals.
“We are still looking for a venue.”
The senior priest at the Umgeni Road Hindu Temple confirmed that he had said he would not be able to conduct the ceremony.
“Through my studies, we never learnt how to conduct a male-to-male or female-to-female ceremony. Therefore, I had said I would not be able to without the proper knowledge.”
A committee member said he could not comment on why the request to use the venue was turned down.
He said the couple’s grievances should be stated in a letter and addressed to the chairman, Billy Poonsamy, so the matter could be looked into.
The president of the South African Hindu Maha Sabha, Ashwin Trikamjee, said the sabha was not in a position to comment on the priest’s refusal to conduct the wedding.
“It is the priest who can decide to perform such a wedding or not. However, the SAHMS has already pronounced on such matters.
“The scriptures do make provision for such a marriage,” he said. “In fact, we had a symposium to debate the matter, which concurred with the view expressed by the couple.”
Trikamjee said the scriptures made reference to the common marriage (male and female), but also to that of one person to another.
The South African Tamil Federation had not commented at the time of publication.