the Bastien Gonzalez chocolate manicure and pedicure.

Cape Town - If you’re planning a threesome, you should shave your legs first. Especially if the participants include you and two lovely ladies whose purpose is to pamper your hands and feet for 75 minutes.

 I was treated to the Bastien Gonzalez chocolate manicure and pedicure at the spa at One&Only Hotel, which is on special until the end of May. It’s still frighteningly expensive for normal to average people like me, who haven’t filled up the car’s tank since, oh, about 2012, and it’s not easy to get a booking.

As with most things in life, particularly luxuries, you get what you pay for. It’s an experience to be savoured and the results are extremely pleasing.

The signature Bastien Gonzalez treatments are different from any other mani or pedi you’ve had before. Your nails are buffed with diamond drills. Diamond!

This is not a joke. The therapists’ tool bench looks a little bit like a baby Dexter starter kit, but it’s the ultimate in indulgence.

The chocolate element comes in three ways. First, as you are settled into your chair which has more up and down and sideways functions than a seat in a business class Airbus – yes, I’ve been jet-setting recently, so I know these things – you’re given a glass jar full of Merci chocolates in different flavours to nibble on with your free hand. It was 10.30am, but I thought a glass of bubbles would enhance all this – and it did.

With Anwin Marlow at my feet and Caelin Titus holding my hand, we were good to go.

We had a lovely chatty bonding time. The treatment usually involves buffing nails to a natural high gloss shines, which is lovely on the hands, it looks like polish, but lasts a lot longer. I chose to have colour on my feet because I couldn’t resist a Bollywood-style shade that shimmered between gold, green and blue.

Good to know you can buy a bottle if you want. There’s nothing worse than having a pedi but not the salon polish for touch-ups in between.

The second chocolate bit is the paraffin treatment. For this, lights are dimmed and shades are closed as the therapists synchronise a quiet, relaxing finger-to-elbow and toe-to-knee massage using a warm paraffin wax enriched with vitamin E, shea butter and cocoa.

Once you’ve reluctantly roused yourself from this delicious cocoon and admired your digits, you are given a bag with a selection of imported chocolates to take home. My first-world problem (I specialise in these) is that I realised I don’t have nearly enough open-toe sandals to show off my pretty new feet.

* One&Only Cape Town, Dock Road, V&A Waterfront, call 021 431 5888 or visit