A Bangladeshi father accused of kidnapping his two children and keeping them away from their mother in South Africa, has decided to break his silence.
The father contacted Weekend Argus to “set the record straight” about why he kept his one and four-year-old children thousands of kilometres away from their mother Chelsea Whittaker who resides in Atlantis.
Riad Aminul Islam, 35, made headlines two weeks ago after his estranged wife Whittaker contacted the media in a desperate plea to have her children returned to her.
Whittaker told Weekend Argus that Islam, whom she had married eight years ago, tricked her into returning to South Africa while he took their children for a visit to Bangladesh. At the time the family was living in Malawi after Islam was kidnapped and held for R5 million ransom last year.
She said she agreed that her husband could take the children to visit their grandparents in Bangladesh, while she would return to South African and they would late join her.
However, Whittaker said before she even got off the bus in South Africa, Islam had sent her a message informing her that she would never see her children again.
Islam vehemently denied this, saying that Whittaker was the one who cut contact with her children.
The father, who is currently living in Bangladesh, said: “Why is she not telling the truth? I told her to move with us to Bangladesh, but she didn't want to.
“I then told her if she wants to visit her family in South Africa she can, because she did it before and then returned home to us. She agreed and she said yes for me taking the children to my parents.
“I even sent her a ticket to come home, she didn't want to, now she is saying that I took the children,” he said.
Islam also forwarded a document to Weekend Argus stamped by the Chileka police station in Malawi, stating that the mother gives the father permission to travel with the kids.
Islam also said that he had no intention of keeping the children away from their mother, but wouldn’t allow them to move to South Africa.
“I work for them, I am the breadwinner, so who says my children will have a proper future there? What if they turn into a gangster or druggie?
“She can come back here, but we won’t come to South Africa,” he said.
Bertus Preller from family and divorce law firm, Maurice Phillips Wisenberg, believed differently, saying that a parent should never alienate a child from the other parent.
“The Act (Children’s Act) contains certain provisions that aim to prevent one parent from frustrating the exercise of responsibilities and rights by the other parent.
“Any parent who has care of a child and refuses to allow the other parent to exercise his/her responsibilities and rights contrary to a court order or properly concluded parental responsibilities and rights agreement is guilty of an offence, and will be liable on conviction to a fine or to imprisonment for a period not exceeding one year,” he said.
Preller said in addition, the parent with whom the child lives must notify the other parent in writing of any change to his/her residential address.
“Failure to do so is considered a criminal offence and is punishable by a period of imprisonment not exceeding one year.
“Threatening to lay criminal charges will definitely make a parent cautious about putting barriers in the way of the other parent. However, this is in fact a sledgehammer approach, because the arrest and possible detention of the primary caregiver will not be in the best interests of the child,” he said.
Preller said the parent blocking contact may be doing so with good reason, for example if he/she fears that the other parent may be abusive or has evidence that the other parent abuses alcohol or drugs while the child is in his/her care.
Preller also explained that such incidents could lead to Parental Alienation Syndrome.
The term first used by the late child psychiatrist Richard A Gardner in 1985 studied the behaviour of parents involved in custody disputes.
Gardner noted that sometimes children align themselves with one parent.
“While this is natural to a degree, Dr Gardner noticed that in some cases it was extreme, to the point of bordering on a physiological disorder.
“He described this so-called disorder or syndrome as follows: ‘Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against the parent, a campaign that has no justification’,” Preller said.
Preller said the disorder results from the combination of (either deliberate or unconscious) indoctrinations by the alienating parent and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the alienated parent.
Director for the Centre for Child Law, Karabo Ozah said because Bangladesh has not signed the Hague Abduction Convention, the mother’s efforts to try and get the children back would be difficult.
The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is the main international agreement that covers international parental child abduction.
South Africa has ratified this Convention. But it only applies where a child has been taken to another country that has also signed the Convention.
Ozah explained the difference between kidnapping and parental child abduction.
“Under South African law, kidnapping consists of unlawfully or intentionally depriving a person of their liberty of movement or, in the case of a minor, depriving a parent or recognised guardian of their control over the child.
“However, parental child abduction is the unauthorised custody of a child by a family relative (usually one or both parents) without parental agreement and contrary to a family law ruling, which may have removed the child from the care, access and contact of the other parent and family side,” Ozah said.