TODAY is the last day of Women’s Month and tomorrow marks the first day of Heritage Month - because, in South Africa, we do not need a day to celebrate or commemorate, we need a whole month.
But it has been interesting to see how various organisations, including the media, have been showcasing the achievements of women over the past few months, with a few also looking at some of the issues faced by women today. It is always important to be realistic and to base our positivity on what is happening in society.
My fear is, now that we have reached the end of Women’s Month, there will be some people - mainly men - who think they can now go back to their bad habits.
The many problems faced by South African women - including gender-based violence, sexual harassment and pay disparities - will not go away because of a monthly focus every year. We need to make sure society focuses on all these issues until they no longer exist, which is probably never.
When my wife and I were newly married, almost 35 years ago, we were nervous about raising children in a country where oppression and exploitation were legalised and where we were forced to live in townships where violence had been the norm.
Despite our worries and concerns, we had three beautiful daughters and I worry about the effects of our patriarchal and violent society on them. We told ourselves that all we can do is give them the tools to survive in a male-dominated world where they would be undervalued and threatened.
We thought that things would improve once we became a democracy, but it is not so. This is evidenced by the thousands of cases of violence against women and here I am not even referring to the high-profile cases involving celebrities who are accused of beating up their partners.
But I am talking about the women who live on the Cape Flats whose men might belong to gangs and who might be addicted to drugs, such as tik, marijuana and alcohol.
Many of these women have resigned themselves to being beaten up over weekends and having to attempt to cover up their black eyes while telling their colleagues that they walked into a door or fell over something.
I have often wondered why some women cover up the violence men commit and I find it difficult that some women would prefer to be with a man who beats them rather than being without a man. My advice to women who get beaten by men has always been: leave the bastard immediately. I also know that it is easier said than done.
Heritage Month is supposed to be more celebratory than Women’s Month, even though South African women have some things to celebrate, such as the advances some women have made in business, education and even in government.
But in Heritage Month, we are supposed to celebrate what makes us unique as a nation. We are supposed to explore our many varied identities as South Africans. Most of us have complex relationships with identity. With me, for instance, the identity that I mainly identify with is not the one that is used by most people to describe me.
As we celebrate our differences, let’s remember that we probably have a lot more in common than we realise. Let’s use those commonalities to build our country together so that we leave a proper legacy for those who will come after us, especially young women.
Fisher is chief executive of Ikusasa Lethu Media. Follow him on Twitter: @rylandfisher