DISCLAIMER: I don’t endorse brands and I’m certainly not a brand ambassador. But, if I were ever to succumb to the idea of being a brand ambassador, I would take the plunge for Chicken Licken.
Yes, it’s that good. It’s nice, even. But a lot of Capetonians won’t know because, as far as I know, there are only two outlets in the city, in Adderley Street and Epping. I’ve been to both.
I’m told there’s a third one, somewhere in Khayelitsha. A unicorn.
But I have never witnessed this mythical beast in the flesh.
Why? Why are Capetonians being denied their basic human right of access to Chicken Licken?
Theories abound. One of the interesting ones a colleague put forward this week was that it’s because the Western Cape and the City of Cape Town is DA run.
And the folks I have canvassed about the lack of Chicken Licken stores appear to put forward the notion that the number of stores is in direct correlation to the lack of blackness in Cape Town.
I don’t know if this is the case. In its own ad campaigns too Chicken Licken has alluded that eating its chicken contributes to blackness. And boy, Cape Town could do with a good dose of blackness.
I’ve gone to extraordinary lengths to find answers for the lack of stores.
On Twitter, I gauged the temperature with a survey that reads: “POLL: This is a matter of National interest and importance. Capetonians, do you want more @ChickenLicken SA outlets in your city?”
With four hours to go to the end of a 24-hour poll, the people had spoken with no fewer than 78 votes, voting 100% in favour of more stores.
(I have to disclose here the three poll options were: a) Yes please! B) Yes please! and C) Yes Please!)
I’ve even painstakingly written to Chicken Licken SA for answers. At the time of going to press, I had yet to receive answers. Perhaps the makers of the finest chicken in the land are also scratching their heads for answers.
So what is the appeal about for me? It’s not just about the clever TV ads, the Louis Vuitton-style packaging, those irresistible chicken wings with Soul Fire sauce or the fact that it is a home-grown brand in a sea of US-inspired fast food chains.
Let me take you back to 21 years ago when I was an intern journo working at The Star newspaper and living in Yeoville, Joburg.
I was in esteemed company, sharing a flat in Becker Street with two other intern journos who were none other than the now-former Daily Voice editor Elliott Sylvester and the current Sunday Times editor Bongani Siqoko.
On our intern salaries, Chicken Licken became an important source of sustenance for the future leaders of the media space. There were so many stores per square kilometre in Joburg in the late 1990s it was convenient too.
From our flat, we drew straws to determine who would make the chicken run to the Rockey Street store. During one particular fierce electric storm, I chose the short straw and braved the lightning armed with a metal-tipped umbrella. It was a matter of life and death.
But the affinity runs much deeper. Growing up in the 1980s, Chicken Licken was one of the few alternatives to the KFC stores that dominated the fast food scene.
While sitting in a burger franchise with my children the other night I reminded them how lucky they were to have choice.
For us, KFC was as it good as it got in terms of fast food. And back then there wasn’t a vast menu of burgers and wraps.
They were blown away when we told them there were only three channels, about the TV test pattern and how there were specific timeslots for cartoons and no 24-hour channels.
But I digress. Cape Town and the Western Cape could do with an injection of soul and more Chicken Licken stores.
We deserve it. Besides, there are enough so-called “economic refugees” from Chicken Licken-rich areas living here to justify having more stores.
But, more to the point, if having more Chicken Lickens in Cape Town makes so-called “economic refugees” feel more at home - more so than the folks who run the show - then it is crucial to the psyche of this province.
With this in mind, I’m starting a campaign: #KnowYourChickenLicken. I’m going to wing it and say it is the manifesto we all need in the Western Cape because everyone wins.
Well, everyone except the chickens.
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