Consumer Watch

Wendy Knowler fights for your rights...

James Clarke Masthead
November 21 2011 at 12:06

It’s Birding Big Day on Saturday. I’ll be there with my bins. Bins are bird talk for binoculars, don’t y’know?  Some call them “nocks” but that’s pure affectation.

The annual BBD has become very competitive with teams of four, some full of performance-enhancing substances liked laced coffee, start at midnight to pick out calls of nocturnal birds. The idea of BBD is to “pi” (birding talk for “positively identify”) as many different kinds of birds as possible within 24 hours and within a 50 km radius of any chosen point.

There’s even a category for those who would prefer to stay at home and just count the birds in their garden.

All the data are collected by Birdlife South Africa and then analysed by scientists who can tell all sorts of things by examining bird densities and distribution.

There are categories – and prizes – for amateurs as well as serious birders.

The recent and aggravating changes in bird names needn’t be a handicap. I just use the old ones and to hell with the birding police.

Changing the names of birds has become something of a fad among scientists. Officially the dikkop is now the thick-knee and so on.

Years ago Canadian birders had a bit of fun with bird names – they were invited to alter a letter in the name of a bird and then suggest an appropriate diet, habitat or behaviour pattern for it.

They came up with Long-billed Curfew (instead of Curlew) – “a quiet bird rarely seen after nightfall”. And the Vowl (instead of Owl) – “a night hunter identified by its call of ‘Aeiou!’ ”

Two or three years ago I invited readers to do the same and Andy Rice came back with a dozen quite brilliant ones.

Three of our four species of ibis – the Hadeda Ibis, Sacred Ibis and Bald Ibis – became the “Ladeda Ibis – a toffee-nosed bird that thinks it is infinitely superior to the cowardly Scared Ibis and the very much braver Bold Ibis.”

I liked most the Fiscal Shrike and the Waxbill which became: “Fiscal Shriek – a bird that cries out in alarm on encountering the common Taxbill”.

The Giant Eagle Owl became the “Giant Beagle Owl – often seen circling menacingly over the SPCA kennels”.

The Karoo Bustard – became the “Karoo Bastard – common name for a very large, chronically incontinent bird that navigates by flying directly above busy highways”.

Another amusing one was the Weaver Bird which became “the Beaver Bird that builds its nest over water by chopping down entire trees and damming up streams”.

To help you on BBD, here is the latest birding jargon (seriously):

Burn up: to scour an area intensively.

Dip out: to stand there like a fool while everybody shouts: “But can’t you see that Flatfooted Bog-Creeper, for Pete’s sake? Anyway, it’s gone!” (You have dipped out.)

Dross: very common species.

Dude: birder who is not prepared to wade through marshland to pi a bird and who puts his bins back in the case each time he uses them.

Flatties: Road kills. Real birders will not count flatties. I do.

Grip: to pi a bird.

LBJ: unidentified “little brown job”.

Lifer: to see a species of bird for the first time. Never dismiss an enthusiastic birder’s “lifer” by calling it “dross”.

Megatick: identifying a really rare bird.

Ticker: birder who is not interested in a bird once he has it ticked.

Ultimate: more than a megatick – something so rare that it could cause you to keel over and die with smile.

 

 

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I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 51.
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I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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Authenticity1425
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 47.
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Warmsmilewarmheart
I'm a 47 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 55.
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Okidoki_63
I'm a 51 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 60.
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JillieB
I'm a 61 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 55 and 70.
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HenrietteF
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 42.
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Kelbels0201
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 42.
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I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 26 and 45.
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Pinky340
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 47.
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Biancs_79
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 35.
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SA04
I'm a 47 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 60.
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Romantic_Gal
I'm a 40 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
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Artistixoxo
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 28.
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Dollie81
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 49.
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Judith78
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 48.
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Unicorn17
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 26.
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Sale_0084
I'm a 58 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 55 and 65.
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Vredelief
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 34.
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Optimistic2014
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 55.
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Apple_853
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
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Cathwhite
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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Angdt
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 23 and 30.
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nirina
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
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I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 35.
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Mo1979
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 29 and 43.
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Lala8610
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 27 and 32.
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MissMoneypenny_13
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 42.
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kosmoskatinka
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
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Dee37
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 45.
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capenewbie
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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sweets1987
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 42.
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Leigh1979
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 29 and 40.
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elle_339
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 50.
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Bebe1000
I'm a 53 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 49 and 57.
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Plattelandsenooi3
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 33 and 45.
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ContagiousLaughter
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 36 and 44.
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Kay_722
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
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KW82
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 29 and 40.
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Fire_and_Ice81
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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ShanJo
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 42.
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Lissa25
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 31.
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I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 39 and 50.
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Minky3001
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 40.
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dragonfly86
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 35.
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TuffLove
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
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Denie_28
I'm a 50 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 53.
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Chriz_1985
I'm a 29 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 18 and 100.
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sexyhair
I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
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JanineB
I'm a 40 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 47.
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jamielief
I'm a 21 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 32.
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LJC777
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 55.
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Jenny84
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 33 and 40.
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I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 55.
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I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 35.
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liefilyf
I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 48.
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PowerPrincess
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 47.
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mistika
I'm a 40 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 66.
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Persephone101
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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I'm a 54 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 52 and 63.
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Angelwinz
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Crispy990
I'm a 24 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 24 and 35.
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I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
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Hopeful_dreamer
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 33 and 45.
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Bluelily77
I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 50.
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I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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Banker009
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 34 and 46.
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jacuwig
I'm a 25 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 25.
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I'm a 54 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 40 and 53.
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Chas008
I'm a 57 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 40 and 50.
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Natural123
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Gambino_Family
I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 42 and 70.
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versl_550
I'm a 55 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
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freddic1
I'm a 52 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 47 and 55.
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I'm a 28 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 24 and 32.
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Officer_Gentleman
I'm a 46 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 48.
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Lastgreatwhite
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 40 and 50.
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Dn212
I'm a 51 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
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HappyEnding
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I'm a 60 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 47 and 57.
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MLACOME0147
I'm a 55 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 49 and 79.
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I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 30 and 45.
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funsunsea0007
I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 58.
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pinsnow
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LEANMAN
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plodof
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cknneth111
I'm a 46 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 41 and 70.
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DaveB_791
I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 45.
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zachki
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I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 41 and 70.
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cornrlius205
I'm a 46 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 50.
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TheRealMrRight
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 42.
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I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 63.
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ScottRanger1987
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ekke_706
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VirgoMan1970
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SingleNSearching60
I'm a 60 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 55 and 70.
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cccdovy
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 48 and 56.
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LovingSerenity
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Fred58
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
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cloudhopper
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brightday111
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Pat321
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gentlebutcrazy
I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 55.
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Frank79
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Axiomate
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kannieworrynie
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 55.
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FamilyMan72
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dinnerfortwo
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Jericho2010
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willing_915
I'm a 54 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 55 and 70.
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Kiwiana
I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 39.
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Lockstep
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reinor
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Denali
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Agent_K1
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TheDuke_99
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matiekat
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Suidwester27
I'm a 53 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 50.
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DutchDelight_
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Kitchenslave
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gavinzn
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daniel101
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I'm a 38 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 37.
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I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 50 and 58.
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Lonomor
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goldenhat
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tommy351
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Seriouslylooking1949
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richy10
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ClassicRocker
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Stand64
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naughty_sporty
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Firefox_771
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captainkid
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karooboertjie15
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Zest4Life021
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Stdave
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Marius_P
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Guardian_24
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Natureboykie
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Yvard
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