Consumer Watch

Wendy Knowler fights for your rights...

John Scott Masthead
July 10 2012 at 11:23

“Just call me The Light Man Who Cometh,” said the voice at the other end of the phone.

I had got through to Eskom and asked to speak to someone who could explain how the parastatal spent R36 million on staff parties, or “family fun days” as they called them.

“Your name’s a helluva mouthful, if you don’t mind my saying so,” I said.

“TLM for short will do,” said TLM.

“I’m told that R36m would keep 1 million poor households in free basic electricity for a month,” I said.

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles, to use a party analogy,” said TLM.

“Eskom proposes to raise electricity tariffs by nearly 100 percent over the next five years,” I pointed out. “How can you possibly justify spending so much on parties?”

“Look, you don’t understand,” explained TLM. “Last year we paid out R54m in bonuses to board and management members, who had done such a good job in extracting so much more money from consumers. Our rank-and-file staff felt a little left out.

“So, to reward them, we arranged a series of seven family fun days in different centres. Their morale is now terribly high, to the extent that they don’t mind plunging whole cities into darkness if they have to.”

“Whole cities?”

“Someone’s got to do it. It’s the only way to punish people who waste money on electricity.”

“What about people who waste public money on parties?”

“R4m is not a lot for one party. You try entertaining 12 000 people, as we did in Gauteng, on that amount. It was almost like the fishes and loaves. The public should be grateful we were so stingy with their money.”

“You also spent R3m on a Cape Town party, R10m at two parties in Witbank and R5m at Lephalale, wherever that is.”

“You are forgetting Durban. We |only spent R1m on the Durban party, including bingo. That’s really cutting our party budget to the bone.

“I just hope our Durban staff realise how much we appreciate their sacrifice. If they leave Durban in the light when we want it dark, or vice versa, I can hardly blame them. That’s why we need more parties.”

“More parties?”

“It’s the only way we can thank our staff for their loyalty and dedication. They at least realise that unless we raise electricity tariffs, there may be no more parties.

“That is why, as we speak, they are hard at work calculating the maximum increases they can impose. They really love their family fun days.”

“I see the main contract for R35m of the parties was awarded to a company called Blackmagic Communications, who tried to keep their involvement secret.”

“You are right. They would have preferred to keep it dark, as it were. They feel a bit bashful about making so many of our staff so happy at so little cost.”

“You all seemed to keep the minister of public enterprises, Malusi Gigaba, in the dark as well. He is only now meeting officials of his department to find out more about all this parastatal partying.”

“That’s not a problem. Once we explain the need to have parties he’ll see the light, unless we turn it off.”

TLM chuckled. “Pardon my little party joke.”

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I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
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I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 65.
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_Alwayssmiling
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 41.
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I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 55.
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I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 42.
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Ja9
I'm a 26 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 26 and 36.
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GWTFT
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 48.
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Natz79
I'm a 35 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
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I'm a 22 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 22 and 29.
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Comet43
I'm a 43 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 54.
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I'm a 48 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
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J_Bean
I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
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Graciousheart
I'm a 47 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 44 and 56.
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Lady66
I'm a 48 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 47 and 55.
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Diena_van_die_Eike
I'm a 49 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 49 and 62.
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kim2702
I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 50.
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Bella_11
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
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I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 50.
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Pretty_Nerd
I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 37.
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MustLoveDogz
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 33 and 43.
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Charms1203
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 55.
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blom788
I'm a 25 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 35.
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voelkos
I'm a 54 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 56.
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Kosmos075
I'm a 39 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 55.
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lookingsexy200
I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 34 and 45.
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Poppielap007
I'm a 23 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 29.
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I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 28 and 36.
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FancyFace32
I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 37 and 58.
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This_is_m3
I'm a 45 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 50.
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I'm a 20 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 22 and 30.
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Mianli
I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 45.
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KarooBoereMeisie
I'm a 34 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 40.
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I'm a 42 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 52.
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I'm a 31 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 45.
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Chanex
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Bizkit2808
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 45.
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AngelBabe1
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 39.
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MonaLisa100
I'm a 45 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50.
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I'm a 46 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 55.
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iamclassy
I'm a 43 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 50 and 62.
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bluemon
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I'm a 30 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 31 and 51.
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Grace62
I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 33 and 42.
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Dreamer1987
I'm a 27 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 35.
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AM1234
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 38 and 46.
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veldmuis007
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I'm a 53 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 47 and 57.
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I'm a 33 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 39.
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Liefterdiefter
I'm a 48 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 63.
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I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 25 and 42.
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I'm a 36 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 44.
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I'm a 32 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 32 and 39.
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I'm a 58 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 55 and 64.
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I'm a 37 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 45.
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I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 30 and 38.
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I'm a 28 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 46.
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I'm a 56 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 50 and 60.
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ContagiousLaughter
I'm a 41 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 37 and 44.
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love_passionately
I'm a 43 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 45 and 55.
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I'm a 40 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 35 and 43.
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BobTheExtremeBuilder
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 47.
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Deipnosophist
I'm a 40 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
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peyton515
I'm a 46 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 36 and 46.
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I'm a 25 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 30.
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annns
I'm a 51 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 48 and 56.
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I'm a 52 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 50.
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I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 36.
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I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 50 and 60.
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I'm a 57 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 55.
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I'm a 26 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
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Geard1977
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 38.
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I'm a 62 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 49 and 55.
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LiveLifeAlways
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Apalis23
I'm a 50 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 39 and 48.
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LoveFriendFirst123
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 50 and 72.
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Travelbug_222
I'm a 76 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
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I'm a 55 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 33 and 53.
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I'm a 52 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 37 and 55.
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maybe_111
I'm a 41 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 23 and 39.
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I'm a 54 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
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OldGoat4400
I'm a 53 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 48.
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I'm a 45 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 44.
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I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 30 and 42.
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I'm a 64 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 60.
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I'm a 66 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 55 and 65.
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skyandsand
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I'm a 70 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 55 and 65.
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I'm a 66 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 60 and 66.
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waitingforgodot
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oldschool_romantic
I'm a 26 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 19 and 31.
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50pluslooking
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
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I'm a 61 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 55.
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happymaker66
I'm a 48 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 45.
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I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 44 and 56.
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I'm a 38 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 42.
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TheRisingSun
I'm a 41 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 40.
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IceDad66
I'm a 48 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 45.
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I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 55.
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MrJay
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I'm a 32 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 24 and 33.
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arew
I'm a 49 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 30 and 55.
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oth1982
I'm a 32 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
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earthwormjim1968
I'm a 46 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 40 and 48.
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MysticKitesurfer
I'm a 43 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 27 and 36.
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TheRealPeterPan
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cloudhopper
I'm a 56 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 55.
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Marley77
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 35.
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Stressfree
I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 42 and 52.
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matiekat
I'm a 66 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 100.
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I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 63.
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I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 28 and 42.
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Woody777
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I'm a 54 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 60.
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I'm a 52 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 46 and 65.
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I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 55.
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I'm a 63 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 50 and 62.
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I'm a 45 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 32 and 42.
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gentlebutcrazy
I'm a 58 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 55.
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philip_unplugged514
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MOOLMAN
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I'm a 42 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 45.
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LEO1982
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