Don’t retire from life

Retirement can give rise to serious emotional and psychologial problems if you do not prepare for it in advance.

Retirement can give rise to serious emotional and psychologial problems if you do not prepare for it in advance.

Published Apr 29, 2013

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This article was first published in the first-quarter 2013 edition of Personal Finance magazine.

Retirement is an “unnatural condition” that can lead to potentially serious emotional and psychological problems, such as depression, if the pitfalls are not recognised, according to clinical psychologist Dr Woolf Solomon.

The man known as Dr Paul on television and radio says many of the social and health problems that occur in retirement – including late-stage marital breakups and even suicide in extreme cases – are a consequence of concentrating solely on the financial aspects of retirement. The other dimensions of life planning for retirement are just as important, he says.

“Many retirement transitions are less wonderful and fulfilling than they should be, for the simple reason that preparation focused only on the financial aspects. There is little emphasis on numerous critical issues and stresses – both emotional and psychological – or on the health challenges of such a radical life transition.

“Retirement is an unnatural condition, even if you can afford to retire,” he adds. “The worst thing you can do is withdraw and become disengaged.”

Solomon says people are not really meant to retire from working. Sixty to 80 years ago you could expect to live for about five years, on average, in retirement; now you could face 30 to 40 years. This means you should “retire to something new”, he says.

The “old retirement” demanded little advance planning or understanding of what it means to spend a long period without a sense of purpose or power. From one day to the next, there may be total disengagement, with people reaching a certain age and effectively “falling off the retirement cliff”.

“Retirees in those circumstances are left with a sense that all the knowledge and experience they have built up is suddenly useless. It is an ending that leaves them with a crushed spirit,” Solomon says.

This loss of identity and purpose often results in self-absorption and health problems and can even, under extreme circumstances, lead to suicide. He says such tragedies occur more frequently than people realise, particularly where there has also been the loss of a partner and the retiree is lonely and severely depressed.

“There is nothing worse than loneliness,” he says.

In many cases, people become quickly disillusioned with retirement because they have built up a fantasy that retirement will be the most wonderful period of their lives. Initially, there may be a retirement honeymoon period, Solomon says, during which “you can play as much golf as you want to”. But after three to four months, playing golf (or any thing else) every day no longer seems attractive. The retiree begins to want to go back to work – even to a job that was once hated.

There may be a loss of meaning in daily life, with many retirees wondering why they should get up in the morning.

He says there are three pillars to an enjoyable retirement. They are:

* Prosperity. Having enough money to maintain your lifestyle.

* Health. All the money in the world will have little meaning if you are not healthy.

* Happiness. Someone who is content with life is more likely to stay healthy.

With the possibility of so many years of retirement ahead of you, you need a different approach to this “most significant transition in your life”.

Solomon calls it the “new retirement” and says it should be seen and planned for as a huge opportunity that will provide a new sense of purpose. It should be a creative change based on self-reliance and engagement with others, providing self-esteem and a sense of identity.

He suggests that your retirement plans should be based on a gradual process of slowing down, so that you avoid the “falling off the cliff” effect of being an important contributor to society one day and having nothing to contribute the next. This, he says, encourages physical, mental as well as spiritual well-being.

Solomon says the storms of life hit everyone, but how we handle them differs from person to person. So it is with retirement: the psychological pressures before, at and after retirement are dealt with in different ways by different people.

Before you retire you may have a sense of anxiety, uncertainty and insecurity caused by a number of factors, including:

* Concerns about your financial and/or health

status;

* Sadness or even anger about the fact that you are about to be forced to retire after 40 years of working; and

* Concerns about the effect your daily presence will have on your partner.

At retirement, the anxiety you felt before retirement about identity, self-esteem, sense of purpose and status could increase.

After retirement, the psychological factors that caused your anxiety before and at retirement could become a reality as you lose the identity that was provided by your job.

Solomon says these psychological factors require adjustments and, in some instances, a degree of acceptance, but you also need to develop a retirement life structure. This ranges from what you will do in your retirement years to where you will live.

Critical to this new structure is the all-important decision about whether or not to work. And then whether to work full-time or part-time.

These are decisions you need to make even if you are financially secure, he says.

“In South Africa there are so many opportunities to give back to society through voluntary work. Being engaged in retirement with what amounts to a second or even a third career will provide you with a sense of identity and personal meaning. An activity that creates meaning is the key to a satisfying retirement,” Solomon says.

He says the decision of where you will live in retirement is an important one. The place you choose should not necessarily be where you would most like to live, but a place that has the most advantages, taking account of factors such as:

* Affordability: will it make it financially easier to make ends meet by moving to a new geographic location or staying in the same place and downsizing your home?

* Lifestyle: will the location allow you to pursue your interests and passions and apply your skills?

* Social structure: will the location support your social and family networks?

It is obviously important to be close to friends and family under any circumstances, Solomon says, but approaching retirement, you need to consider the new relationship you will have with your spouse or partner, your children, your grandchildren and even your parents. He says the current retiring generation is the “sandwich generation”, with elderly parents on one side and children and grandchildren on the other requiring support. In turn, you need the support of family, friends and the wider community in which you live.

* Health: your retirement home needs to be situated where you have access to adequate health care.

Of course, preparation for a healthy retirement starts much earlier. From middle-age, you should be having regular medical tests to detect any problems in their early stages. Tests should include stress tests (heart), cholesterol profiling (lipograms), blood pressure screening, tests for blood sugar (diabetes risk) and kidney and liver function, skin cancer examinations, eye examinations, colonoscopies and gastroscopies when appropriate, and weight and waist circumference measurements. It’s important for men

to have regular rectal examinations and prostate-specific antigen screening, and for women to have pelvic examinations (pap smears) and breast examinations (mammograms).

Solomon says it is important that you contribute to your own optimum health in retirement by maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly and getting sufficient relaxation time and sleep.

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

If you are to have a contented retirement, you need to “open a conversation” with yourself and others long before you retire, Dr Woolf Solomon says. The conversation should include questions such as:

* What am I going to do in retirement?

* What am I going to do in my free time?

* With whom will I spend my time?

* Who else am I – or will I be – financially responsible for?

* What am I doing now to develop potential retirement activities?

* How do I find meaning in retirement?

* What has been the meaning of my life to this point?

* What will I do with the rest of my life?

* Which choices do I make among the many options?

* How can I build a structure in my life to replace work?

* What contribution can I make to the community?

* What legacy do I want to leave?

THE WISE DOCTOR

Clinical psychologist Dr Woolf Solomon – also known as TV and radio personality Dr Paul – has run both a clinical practice and a corporate training and development consultancy over the past 30 years. He lectures and facilitates workshops both locally and internationally across many fields, helping people overcome their life challenges, and coaches people to realise their potential.

He has worked in the area of retirement well-being for many years, both as a lecturer and retirement coach, “helping individuals to retire with purpose, passion and meaning”.

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