Murray Williams shares his five most profound life lessons, in no particular order.
Cape Town - My brother-in-law has a study, filled with the most sophisticated collection of analyses into business, human behaviour, leadership, psycho/neuro conditionality-complexity of which Stephen Covey’s famous Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is probably the most entry-level, before the really intimidating stuff.
Sadly, I’m not sure if I understand much of this. I rely on my boet to bring me up to speed. In short sentences, preferably.
Instead, most of us have to rely upon our own wisdom, or lack of it. At least it’s authentic, learned from our very own grazed knees.
In no order, here are five of my most profound life lessons:
1: Learned around a campfire, aged 10: The more hours sleep before midnight the better. Wake when your body wants to, not has to.
2: Never argue with difficult superiors in meetings. They’ll get more insecure, more determined to prove their point. You’ll say “But –” and it’ll just get worse, nastier. Instead: Nod. Sagely. Deferentially. Start thinking of a new strategy to convince, or influence, or steer the ship back on course, later. As Madiba advised – maybe he even whispered it: “Lead from behind – make them think they’re in charge!”
3: Never allow a child/brother/friend/anyone to ride a motorbike until they’ve driven a car for a few years first. Just don’t do it. You can never, ever know how “blind” motorbikes are until you’ve seen them from behind a steering wheel for several years, watched them disappear from sight between your rear-view/side-view mirrors, and re-appear at your window, or from behind your passenger-side A-pillar. Splat. Lives ruined.
4: Try not to show off. It may be tempting. But you will stuff up. Heightened humiliation will follow.
5: Never forget your roots, your core. Plenty of times in life, one’s entire identity, abilities, worth will probably be challenged. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes through ruthlessness, sometimes by circumstance. Stand fast. Remember your essence. I was told by a history teacher in Standard Five (now Grade 7) “They can take everything from you, but they can never take your dignity.”
In the worst-case-scenario, if you’re literally having the life suffocated out of you by a bully, here’s an exercise: Imagine them, their trousers or skirt around their ankles, sitting on the toilet.
This may be a fairly disgusting thought in the case of many people. And it’s not intended to be inappropriate for a family newspaper. But this “image” is guaranteed to drop every single human being down a notch or two, off their pedestals. To show you we’re fundamentally all equal.
You might say, even just to yourself: “So how powerful are you NOW, (fill in name of Big Shot here)?” – as he or she reaches sheepishly for the toilet roll…
* Murray Williams’ column ’Shooting from the Lip’ appears in the Cape Argus every Monday.
Cape Argus