There are ways to grow and deal with loneliness

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a psychology adviser. Picture: Supplied

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a psychology adviser. Picture: Supplied

Published Nov 23, 2023

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ANOLENE THANGAVELU PILLAY

Being a social species, we, humans, need a secure social environment to survive and thrive. We are naturally wired to connect and interact with others.

Loneliness causes us to feel alone, even empty, making it challenging to connect with others. The pain of loneliness had motivated our prehistoric ancestors to renew their social structure to ensure survival and promote essential features like trust, co-operation and collective action.

The social nature of our species is mirrored by the fact that feeling lonely is a significant risk factor in illnesses and death today. Why do we experience these feelings of loneliness?

It is possible for anyone to feel lonely. Feeling lonely is a universal emotion, but it usually motivates connection or reconnection with others. This is followed by a geographic relocation, bereavement, lack of companionship or belonging, or the inability to connect to those around you.

We are all vulnerable to it. Some of us may experience loneliness in certain situations while others do not. The awareness of loneliness has evolved to indicate that our connection to others are no longer present. Our health and well-being, as well as the survival of our species, require us to motivate this repair to our connections.

Social relationships extend beyond confiding in someone or spending time with them. They protect you from mental and physical illness. Individuals experience quicker recovery from illnesses and surgeries. Across all life stages, they experience higher well-being, achieve their full potential and feel less lonely.

According to research, the manner in which we were treated as children, including how much attention we were given, has a significant impact on how lonely we feel as adults. By recognising loneliness signals, we can prevent the long-term harm it can cause to our mental and physical health. Studies show that loneliness results in low self-esteem, pessimism, anger and a decrease in social abilities. To counter the inequity, understand what makes relations satisfying.

Addressing all the pathways people use to cultivate high-quality relationships could help reduce loneliness. Ultimately, it is your personal preference that steers you towards finding healthy relationships to fight loneliness.

The act of volunteering has been proved to reduce stress and feelings of loneliness. Developing meaningful relationships can be achieved by connecting with others, being willing to try new things and being strategic when seeking relationships.

Take loneliness as an opportunity to grow as an individual. Gain more knowledge on how to feel comfortable in your own company. Avoid making comparisons to others.

Changes to your lifestyle may be beneficial for you. By making small adjustments to your daily routine, you can enhance your ability to connect with others and feel empowered. Being physically active, spending time outdoors and being around animals can be beneficial for your well-being.

Feeling lonely is possible during certain times of the year, especially during the festive season. Enhance your social abilities. Think ahead and brainstorm what activities you could do to lift your mood during these times. Feeling lonely with someone you trust can be normalised and help you feel better. Online or in-person therapy has the potential to break the cycle of loneliness.

Even though humans are meaning-making creatures that acknowledge social relationships, we lack the capacity to harness the power of social connectedness in everyday life. Loneliness can be a result of perception, particularly when we perceive that our social needs are not being met by the quantity or the quality of our social relationships.

People can feel lonely even if they live introverted lives, or conversely, they can have a rich social life but feel lonely. It is commendable to aim to improve a sense of connectedness, social connection and lessen feelings of loneliness in their own right. However, the critical question is whether altering perceptions of loneliness or connectedness has any influence on our mental health.

Loneliness has evolved into an essential element of human existence, a challenging experience for some, but you are not alone. At some point in their lives, loneliness is experienced by millions of people across the globe. Loneliness can have a unique influence that may be relevant to health and potentially pose a threat to our survival and reproductive success. Our chances of survival in challenging environments are enhanced by connections with others on an individual and collective level.

Future interventions designed to encourage connection and lessen the health burden of loneliness should consider our evolutionary design as a social species. Move towards a more diverse and sophisticated understanding of loneliness when planning interventions against, but also for and with, loneliness in the future.

In a world filled with possibilities, would a successful intervention that lessens loneliness produce corresponding benefits for our well-being and mental health?

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a psychology adviser.

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