Hallelujah! Happy days! At long last! Or, in the words of Doctor Emmett Brown from Back to the Future, “Great Scott!”
After more than a decade of being subjected to ever-increasingly ridiculous programmes that have come to entail such titillating storylines as what colour nail varnish the celeb in question should select, the era of the reality show finally looks set to come to a grinding halt!
No more keeping up with the Kardashians and their sham weddings (or their questionable lineage for that matter); no more controversies surrounding contestants who are forced to drink donkey semen (less “fear factor” than outright disgusting); no more “I’ve met the love of my life” – after one month of being wooed – only to divorce him once your publicity appeal begins to wane; no more malodorous malnourished survivors bringing out their inner bitchiness in a bid to win a million.
It’s all done, dusted, dead in the water!
At least, that’s what we members of Pogs (People Opposing General Stupidity) would love to see splashed across the pages of showbiz mags sooner, rather than later.
But nay, sadly the genre that has come to dominate our small screens remains very much alive and well, to the extent that the pseudo schlebs it spawns are seemingly even prepared to get themselves knocked up simply to secure a spin-off.
How else could you possibly explain the wholly aberrant notion of Jersey Shore’s “I pout in poorly applied make-up, therefore I am” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi proclaiming her pregnancy – all of which will, coincidentally, be featured in a new series focused solely on her?
Even the big name stars aren’t above cashing in on the reality television action: Rihanna recently announced her plans to executive produce and spearhead a Project Runway-type British programme, in which contestants will embark on a 10-week challenge to create outfits for a string of personalities, culminating in a task that will see them designing the wardrobe for the singer’s forthcoming Wireless concert in the UK.
That said, if this week’s main entertainment news serves as any indication, the big brand reality offerings had best consider a serious revamp if they’re to have any hope of standing the test of time.
As the less-than-stellar ratings have proven, not even the likes of Paula Abdul or Nicole Scherzinger (who, really, was little more than a pretty face – and an annoying one at that!) can hold audience interest within a same-old format.
And they’re not the only ones struggling to maintain that all- elusive X-factor: while American Idol may still lead the pack as the most successful reality show in history they, too, are slipping, with viewership ratings down by double digits!
Time to start singing a new tune, money-spinning Mr Seacrest…
LARA DE MATOS
TONIGHT EDITOR