Durban — Gaslit. Anyone else feeling it?
Saffers would be grateful for any steady light right now, but enough with the gaslighting already.
Stick with me here. Remember that to fix something, you first have to see it’s broken.
Gaslighting is defined in the Urban Dictionary as “a form of intimidation or psychological abuse, where false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory, perception and often, their sanity”.
Sound familiar? Saranne Durham and Kyle Young write for the South African College of Applied Psychology that “gaslighting is a particularly manipulative form of psychological and emotional abuse”.
They break it down into four main categories: outright lies, manipulation of reality, scapegoating and coercion. Their essay focuses on relationships, but the menace is so much wider.
Saffers have been gaslit for centuries, since the days the colonisers stepped off their ships. The power brokers and the connected have run amok, telling the great unwashed (you ’n’ me) how things were going to be because that’s how they were going to establish their power over us.
Society as a whole has been gaslit for centuries, being taught that people who are “other” are sinful, stupid, “labourers”, less than. The economics of gaslighting have largely been in the hands of millions of men who have – and still do – consider women subservient creatures and chattels who must obey and submit and know their place. Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.
Those with the necessary spirit, independence and courage have rebelled against the status quo and claimed their first-class citizenship, or died trying. But millions of “others” are being jailed, beaten, raped, tortured or murdered for demanding equality and their human rights.
It’s not just Saffers who suffer. People across the world are manipulated into hating or fearing the other. Blood is flowing because the “might is right” principle is being encouraged and allowed to prosper without a thought for the “little people”, for justice and the right of humanity to be the best it can be.
We all have to do better. No one’s coming to save us; we have to do it ourselves.
It should start with every individual thoughtfully examining what they believe and why. Consider the options and be open to ideas that can make small improvements to people’s lives, even if it starts with our families, friends or colleagues.
We must process information more specifically. Examine where it comes from and the motives of the source. Who benefits and who could it harm?
Instant information or disinformation becomes fact in the blink of an eye, and bad news and sensation spread much faster than corrections or walk-backs. Thoughtless outrage and fear are instant and virulent.
For Saffers, the bad news is it’s going to get worse as the elections draw nearer. There will be a feeding frenzy at the trough as the possible end of the gravy train may be looming. Truth, as in war, has and will be the first casualty.
We know we have been lied to, blamed, manipulated and coerced – we are being gaslit and, in helpless despair, shrug.
We all deserve to be given the opportunity to live our best possible lives. It’s time to shake off the shrug and get serious about questioning long-held beliefs and newly presented “facts”. Interrogate everything. Hold our precious trust close. We can only be gaslit if we allow it. It’s time to turn off the gas.
Independent on Saturday