Washington - Everyone graduates from high school knowing how to read, write and do basic maths (hopefully). But to be a self-sufficient adult, those skills are nowhere close to enough.
They aren’t going to help a young adult out of every jam he is likely to face in the next few years. Most of those predicaments probably will have nothing to do with Shakespeare, trigonometry or world history.
What will he do when his car breaks down? Does she know how to navigate a job interview? Is he responsible with his money?
Schools teach many of these skills, either directly or woven into other subjects. But it’s up to parents to make sure their teens can take care of themselves in the world.
Here are some of the skills educators think are crucial to becoming an independent adult:
Budgets and money
Make sure your teen has his own bank account, and if he doesn’t, take him to the bank to open it. It is important for him to know how to use the bank in person before he starts managing an account online.
Help young teenagers practice managing money by giving them a quarterly clothing budget. Have them come up with a list of what they need, where they will buy the clothes and how much they will cost.
Then go over the budget and make adjustments as necessary. Agree on a spending limit for that quarter, and load it on to a debit card for them to use to buy their clothes.
Neale Godfrey, Chairman of the Children’s Financial Network in the US says if they want to blow their clothing budget on designer jeans, that’s fine, as long as they know you won’t be putting any more money into the account. They are holding the debit card and have control of it.
Give them a monthly budget instead of one that lasts for a term or longer, she says. Handling monthly expenses will help your teenager learn how to set a household budget and work within it.
And even if you can afford one, don’t even think of giving them a credit card until your teen has managed a debit card and budgeted responsibly for several months.
Handling emergencies
Many teenagers have never dealt with insurance without their parents’ help. They need to know what to do if they get in a car accident or have to make a trip to the emergency room.
For doctor’s appointments or hospital visits, explain any medical aid co-payments, limits or other billing procedures to your child and make sure he knows what kind of identification he will need to provide.
With fender-benders, give your teenager a list of what information she will need to exchange with the other driver: name, address, phone number, insurance information, driver’s licence number and licence plate number.
Godfrey recommends taking your teen to the insurance agent when you add her to your policy. Then have the agent explain to her what she needs to do in an accident.
She also recommends a trip to the police station with your teen, so an officer can explain what happens when, for example, they are caught drinking and driving.
“Lots of 18-year-olds consider themselves to be like a child, but the law considers them an adult.” Godfrey says.
Digital kids, analogue skills
Teenagers should practice basic skills that have nothing to do with technology, says Carrie Schaefer, a schools counsellor.
Make sure that your teen knows how to read and write in cursive and that he can sign his name, she said. Everyone needs to be able to address an envelope.
While every child is taught how to read an analogue clock in primary school, many rely so much on their phones that they forget, Schaefer says. So continue to practice that skill with them.
And have your teens write and speak in complete sentences without using the shorthand that goes with texting or social media.
“They’re shortening everything they do with technology these days, sending little messages where everything is abbreviated. They need to get out of that habit because when you’re e-mailing your professor or prospective employer, you can’t do that.”
Developing people skills
Your teen may know his way around an iPhone blindfolded, but to be successful in the workplace, he will need good manners and to be able to communicate and collaborate with others, says school principal John Brewer.
“Many of the 21st-century skills that kids need to be developing are not things we traditionally think of as things schools ought to teach.” Key skills include being able to meet new people and have successful interactions with them, he says.
“(These skills) are in this big lump that you would call character education. Can you treat other people with respect? Can you pull your weight? It’s crucial to be able to do these things in a global workplace.”
Make sure your teen knows how to shake someone’s hand and look the person in the eye, Schaefer says.
Schools counsellor Maureen McLaughlin emphasises interpersonal skills. In particular, all kids need to have some public-speaking abilities.
Parents can have teens read aloud or write a speech and present it in front of a mirror or the family. They need to practice making eye contact, breathing and speaking slowly.
“The individual who is articulate and can present himself to a group of people goes a long way. Most individuals will have to give a presentation at some point. Being able to defend a beliefs is a skill you need for the rest of your life.”
Managing time
Educators say teenagers should be able to use a personal calendar by the time they graduate to track appointments, important dates and assignments.
This can help university students remember to communicate with their parents when a bill or important paperwork is due, or when they need to make travel arrangements.
Have them start using a calendar app or an online calendar while they are still in high school to get them in the habit of keeping track of everything, he says.
They also need to be able to plan their study time.
There’s often a protected environment in the household, with a set study space and time for the children. When they get to college, they’ve got a messy, noisy dorm room. How will they handle that?
Running a household
Some basic home skills, such as making some simple meals and taking care of your laundry, may seem simple, but they are not.
Teach your teen not only how to sort his laundry, but also how much detergent to use, how to treat stains and how many clothes to put in the washer at a time.
School principal Alan Goodwin says: “Parents make a lot of assumptions (about what their kids can do). We do all these protective things when they are in high school, and then a lot of them end up partying more and forgetting to do laundry, forgetting to study.” -– The Washington Post