12 ways to spot a cheat!

iol lifestyle jan 20 to go with spot a cheat AP THE NOTORIOUS BIG CHEAT: Tiger Woods with then wife Elin Nordegren before revelations of his infidelities hit headlines.

Worried your man may be straying? Here, with the help of relationship experts, Peta Bee reveals the signs that could be a red flag. Your man is more likely to cheat if…

1 You earn more than he does. It will dent his ego, but could also harm your relationship. A 2010 study suggested men who were dependent on their partners for income, were five times more likely to cheat than those who contributed equally.

2 He works long hours. If your partner works such long hours that he spends less than 10 percent of his time with you, then there’s a one in 10 chance that he (or you) will be unfaithful.

According to the British Office for National Statistics, married couples with children spend only 75 minutes a day in each other’s company.

“A partnership shouldn’t be too claustrophobic, but it should focus on doing some things as a couple,” says Julia Cole, a couples’ counsellor and the author of a new book, After the Affair.

3 You live together before getting married. Many believe living together before getting hitched allows couples to get used to each other’s idiosyncrasies. But a Relate survey suggested those who live together but don’t marry are up to 40 percent more likely to be unfaithful than those who tie the knot.

4 His father or brother has had an affair. Scientists have uncovered a genetic link to infidelity. Two years ago, a study at the Karolinska Institute, in Stockholm, showed men who inherit a genetic variant that affects an important hormone called vasopressin are more likely to have marital problems.

5 He has a twin who cheats. If so, be careful he doesn’t mirror his sibling’s behaviour. Dr Lynn Cherkas, a genetic analyst in the department of twin research at St Thomas’s Hospital, London, found that identical twins were 200 percent more likely to be unfaithful if their twin had had an affair.

“A lot of twins have similar personalities and shared values, which could be the reason for such findings,” Cole says.

6 He’s been married before (but you haven’t). A paper published in the European Journal of Operational Research in 2009 tracked 1 000 couples who were either married or in relationships over five years. Researchers found a previous divorce lessened the chances of a relationship surviving, although this was less marked when both partners had been divorced before.

7 He’s sex-obsessed. One third of 1 468 men questioned admitted to viewing online pornography. According to Cole, men who use internet porn regularly are more likely to be unfaithful, because the habit can produce a deadening effect on emotions that can hurt relationships.

Cole says: “Excessive use of chat lines and porn can leave someone numb to the emotional responses they would feel in a relationship.”

8 You live in the countryside. A survey of 4 000 spouses conducted by a dating website, illicit encounters.com, revealed adulterers were more likely to live in rural areas.

In Dorset, 47 percent of respondents admitted to having had an affair, while the website has a disproportionately high number of members in the Western Isles of Scotland.

9 He was privately (or religiously) educated. A survey by illicit encounters.com found almost one quarter of the site’s 500 000 members attended private schools. A further 15 percent had attended religious schools.

Adam Scott, founder of the website, says: “People who feel restricted by cultural and religious ideals are often those who feel the need to marry at a young age. As a result, they are far more likely to feel frustrated in their partnership.”

10 He doesn’t like your family or friends. Relate says men risk losing a close-knit support group, and not just their spouse, if they stray.

11 He’s a social-networking enthusiast. One law firm, Divorce Online, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook. “I am seeing an increasing number of people whose partners have been unfaithful through one of the social networking methods,” says Cole.

12 He has a lower IQ than you. A recent study by Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics and Political Science, revealed the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to cheat. – Daily Mail


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Anonymous, wrote

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04:53pm on 20 January 2011
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I bet Marty's IQ is lower than his wife's is ...

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charpatter, wrote

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04:26pm on 20 January 2011
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Marty, if you look like Ryk Neethling by all means, if you don't, shut up!

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Anonymous, wrote

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03:59pm on 20 January 2011
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@ Anon...stop with the mxiting you grammar and spelling sucks. But I do agree with you @ Marty...real men dont cheat...you moffie!

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Anonymous, wrote

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03:49pm on 20 January 2011
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Women cheat too

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SUSAM, wrote

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03:41pm on 20 January 2011
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UNFORTUNATELY MARTY IS TRUE. THAT IS THE REALITY TODAY. WHEN WOMEN PICK UP WEIGHT....THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER STRAYS. VERY PATHETIC...BUT TRUE

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MR, wrote

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03:36pm on 20 January 2011
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Marty is very right, if my wife gets fat, i wont even cheat, i ll divorce her, being fat is not desirable at all, women should always take care of themselves.

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KDB, wrote

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03:27pm on 20 January 2011
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@Marty - you sound like and idiot so perhaps your wife is already cheating on you. If a man becomes an idiot that is definitely grounds for divorce. I don't actually understand peoples need to cheat. If you are not in love with somebody anymore at the VERY least have the respect to leave the current partner before starting up with a new one. People who cheat are dispicable and so are people who are with somebody they know is cheating.

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Darkman X, wrote

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03:24pm on 20 January 2011
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What absolute hogwash! This doesn't not give concrete proof of how to check if a dude is cheating. It only give percentages and maybe's - "If this, then he might" This was seriously a bogus article. How can you take advice about men cheating from a woman????

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beanz, wrote

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03:22pm on 20 January 2011
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I'm totally on the side of Great Dane...the impression that only men cheat is very sickening because at the end of the day it sends out wrong signals...and as painful as it is to say this, in some cases it drives men to do the most terrible things like asault and in worse cases, murder, since the systems like this article does not prepare them to bear in mind that women also cheat...on the same note, the fact that this impression is created makes it easy for some women to cheat because they believe it is a given that men cheat, and when they realize they are wrong, the damage is already done...they can't leave their "side" because the "side" would not bear the fact that his partner sleeps with another man. The rest is a vicious circle

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Pangea, wrote

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03:19pm on 20 January 2011
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People marry too quickly and too young and and after five years find out they have the wrong partner. People need to be compatible physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and they need to determine and discuss this before they marry! and not after, a lot do not and this lead to problems

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Anonymous, wrote

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02:59pm on 20 January 2011
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You cheat when you have a very big pe_n_s

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Mhingasiu, wrote

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02:54pm on 20 January 2011
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Bull****

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AJB, wrote

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02:21pm on 20 January 2011
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I think its really unfair if your partner gets fat or doesnt take care of themselves. I would leave her if possible and cheat if not.

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fat girl, wrote

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02:07pm on 20 January 2011
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@ Marty ... VERY Shallow ...your wife certainly deserves better if you would cheat on her because she is overweight ...

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Anonymous, wrote

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01:55pm on 20 January 2011
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Hahahaha Marty maybe if you give the money to her so she would go to the Jim an treat her self to healthy food she would look good for you,so you are just a ass anyway.

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marty, wrote

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01:44pm on 20 January 2011
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what if your wife is overweight! is this not a good reason to have an affair?

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great dane, wrote

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12:22pm on 20 January 2011
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The article is discriminatory in nature ...and implies that only man cheat ...these criteria can be equally applied to woman

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