When they spoke of beautiful women they had a pretty holistic idea of beauty and most seemed to want the kind of pretty that emanates from within.
For a bit of fun we asked a few strapping young South African men what they wanted in a wife or long-term partner.
Listen up ladies: Lifestyle influencer Seth Shezi says laughter and lots of love maketh the ideal woman.
“An ironclad sense of humour has got to be on the top of the list – if you can’t laugh about it then, really, what’s the point! A great sense of style is a huge plus. And lastly a big heart – because men are just overgrown boys who will always need nurturing and loving despite their, often deceptive, exteriors!”
We’re not arguing Seth.
Young muso and all-rounder Kyle Deutsch doesn’t beat about the bush.
The lad who surely sets teen hearts racing, says: “In a nutshell, she should have character, aura, personality, be grounded and have beauty.”
David Perel, GT racer with Kessel Racing Ferrari, says: “Two things are very important to me when I’m looking for a partner. The first is that they have to be self-motivated and driven and the second is to be able to let me do my thing in terms of my career and ambitions.”
Clingy is a major no-no but independent women rank well.
“What I look for in a wife would be a beautiful woman who has the same ambition as me. She would need to be successful and driven to achieve her goals. Most importantly is her personality and her heart. I am a strong believer in God, so she would also need to believe in and love Him. A strong woman of faith is very important. She would also need to be understanding of my schedule and the amount of work that I need to put into my music and the industry,” says hip-hop artist Chad Da Don.
The UK’s Daily Sun ran a poll and asked their male readers what they wanted in a woman. The top answer was loyalty and respect. Beautiful on the inside got the second most votes. We all know that men are attracted to attractive women, so how do they know she’s beautiful on the inside as well if he can’t get past the issue of her big feet or small breasts?
But there is proof that men don’t just go on looks alone. Monmouth University did a study and found that personality could make a big difference in whether someone found you aesthetically pleasing. The study says it’s not about long legs, hourglass curves and shiny hair.
Ezra Paulse, 30, has been with his fiancée for six years. He feels that the decision to ask her to be his wife was a no-brainer. “In those initial six years we went through and experienced enough to suss out each other. We address conflict as soon as possible and not bottle it up. We communicate with each other before making big decisions, and allow each other to be their own person,” he says.
Francios Parring, 37, has been dating his future wife for four months, but has known her for 18 years. “What attracted me to Nadine was her smile and the way her lips move when she speaks – each word sounds so sensual. I also loved the manner in which she carried herself; the way she commands a room always excites me and I am filled with pride to be able to say that she is my woman.”
Thirty-one-year-old Lifa Majali is living the life of a bachelor but hopes to tie the knot soon.
“What I am looking for in a lady is that she must be a person who is beautiful and educated, independent and respects her husband. She must not be lazy and be willing to please me, but at the end of the day it’s not just about me.” Hmm, okay.
While most shy away from the subject, clinical psychologist and sexologist Dr Eugene Viljoen says men most certainly want to be “pleased”.
“Every person has sexual fantasies. Men want to share their fantasies, but are scared that they will be judged.
“Men also want their women to share their fantasies in the sexual context.”
It helps to think of it as a natural – biological – factor. “Men see sex as a celebration. Orgasms release oxytocin (also called the “bonding hormone”), which brings couples closer together, alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure and promotes healing.
“Honesty: we need the wife and partner to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest.”
Viljoen adds: “Also shower him with praise. Men are no different from women when it comes to compliments in order to boost sexual confidence.”