10 secrets men wish you knew

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IOL Lifestyle Pic Dec 13 goes with  si relationships

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So, what does your man want?

Women sometimes find it bit tricky to understand what makes their man tick - especially if he is like many guys and finds it hard to open up and express his needs or feelings verbally.

If you are wondering what's going on under his calm and cool exterior, here are some basics about men that he may want you to know but doesn't know how to tell you:

1. Sex isn't 'just sex'

It's a stereotype that to a guy, having sex is just sex - in fact, many view it as an very important act between two people who are committed to each other. Most guys are more satisfied with sexual intimacy in a committed relationship because long-term partners have a better idea of how to please each other in bed.

2. He may show his love through doing
Rather than saying the words, I love you, some men prefer to show how they feel by doing things around the home. If you're concerned that he's not expressing his feelings for you, watch what he's doing to make your world a better place. Those little actions speak volumes.

3. He feels loved through sex
While most women bond with their man by spending time chatting (which builds emotional intimacy and a desire for sex) guys tend to do it the other way round. They bond and feel loved through the closeness created by sexual intimacy. This is why sex is a hugely important part of love for them and so, not surprisingly…

4. He wants you to prioritise your sex life
If you put him last on your list of things to do late at night, he's going to feel neglected and that he's becoming less and less important to you. Granted, kids take a lot of time and energy, and so do the demands of the office. But happy partners create a happy home environment - focus on your sex life together and you and your kids will reap the benefits of a strong, loving relationship.

5. He needs some space
Men need time to themselves. It's healthy for both partners to maintain their identities as individuals as well as doing things together as a couple. If you encourage him to pursue his own hobbies, whether it's going for long bike rides, gaming with friends or carpentry, by giving him space to do his own thing he'll have more to give to you in return.

6. He wants you to initiate sex more often
Sex is a two-way thing and it isn't solely the guy's job to get the ball rolling. Women often feel men should be the hunters but guys like to feel pursued too. There's nothing sexier for a man than a woman who's so hot for him she can't stop herself from ripping his clothes off. When you initiate sex, you make him feel desirable and sexy, and that's a huge turn on for a guy.

7. He feels loved when you respect him
It's important to a man to feel respected by his partner and it's strongly linked with his feelings of being loved. If he feels you don't respect him and his ability to make good decisions, he may question your love for him. Treat him with respect and he'll be very willing to please - and pleasure - you.

8. He wants you to be adventurous in bed
If you grew up with the notion that “good girls don't have sex”, throw this out with your inhibitions. Good girls love great sex - and are entitled to it. You'd better believe he wants it too. He wants you to be daring and open to trying new things - new sex positions, sexy lingerie, different venues, new sex techniques and sex toys - to keep things fresh and exciting.

9. He takes commitment seriously
Men tend to take longer to commit because they know they'll be in it for the long haul and they want to be sure they're making the right choice. Just because he's reluctant to tell you the words you may be waiting to hear, it doesn't mean he's not committed to you. Most guys who commit tend to be happy with their decision and say they would marry their current partner again.

10. He bonds through shared activities
Men build their relationships by doing things together, rather than by sharing their thoughts and feelings. They usually feel closer to their partner through joint activities like sex or sport. If you want him to feel more of a bond with you, find an activity you enjoy doing together - and of course, have plenty of great sex. - IOL
 

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Karooseun, wrote

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01:30am on 23 July 2011
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Sex,what is it..?,as i have never heard of it

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themba, wrote

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07:18pm on 22 July 2011
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sex is very nice to enjoy in the minds

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Nonsense, wrote

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06:02pm on 22 July 2011
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what a load of nonsense. I'm sure a woman wrote this article. :((

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Anonymous, wrote

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05:27pm on 22 July 2011
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have you all watched the movie that pic on the article is from. she is hilarious. check it out

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purple, wrote

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04:53pm on 22 July 2011
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everyones comments are hillarious! LOVE IT! What a way to end a friday :)

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Butterfly, wrote

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02:44pm on 22 July 2011
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@Butterfly 02:02pm... Shame you poor baby... are you being hen pecked? I think you have issues and you dont like what I said cause it is too close to home for you!! maybe your woman has higher expectations of you and you just dont measure up!

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@ Butterfly, wrote

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02:02pm on 22 July 2011
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...and a womans world revolves around her OWN problems, feelings and emotions...and her urge to change her man into what she expects him to be and then complain because she doen't like what she created...and then there's the ever annoying habit of wanting your man to talk to you about his problems and then trying to solve them for him...the list goes on and on...trust me you only have to deal with a mans obsession with sex and that is was easier then dealing with a womans obsession and problem with everything else...and a menstrual cycle.

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Bruno, wrote

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01:58pm on 22 July 2011
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Ladies, please note that this are not requests but SECRETS that men wish women knew. No matter how lou u scream, fact is screts are revealed.

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Andries, wrote

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01:58pm on 22 July 2011
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@cheated,you sound like a woman,because we men dont believe in forgiving a cheating spouce and living happily ever after...once again i believe you say your a man just to put a point across.

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Ender, wrote

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01:46pm on 22 July 2011
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@ Anthony That's what wanking is for. Cheating is cheating no matter how you convince yourself it's all right.

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Dineo, wrote

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01:38pm on 22 July 2011
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@Naked Eyes,90% of women in an Adulterous relationship have been lied to by the partner,so that excuse is out of the window.Its not everyday you hear a guy crying over his women telling him a lie about her marital status.

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Cheated, wrote

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01:16pm on 22 July 2011
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@ Stephanie - Women are exactly the same, if not worse nowadays. I am a married man and totally and utterly committed to my wife. I have never cheated on my wife and I didnt cheat on past girlfriends either. I have seen how women behave, especially when out "with the girls", and especially when they have a couple drinks. All committment flies right out the window.My wife has done it as well. She is just very fortunate that I love her so much and I have forgiven her...again. It has nothing to do with whether you are a man or a woman. Its about your moral standards, values, your ability to love and commit, and just pure decency and self control.

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Naked Eyes, wrote

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01:02pm on 22 July 2011
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@Candice its time to set the record straight. When men do cheat it is with another WOMAN so how come is it that the man is irresponsible and women can continue with no worry. Why must it always be the man? Is it because the only wisdom that women truely posses is between their legs? So stop calling and branding men only you see you loose cannons are part of the pleasurable crime. Who the hell do you think a married man will sleep with in an adulterous relationship, its most of the time another man's wife. So you see it is a vicious circle. It's called GENDER EQUITY even in sin.

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Butterfly, wrote

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12:59pm on 22 July 2011
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Funny! how a man's world revolves around his sexual organ! and that a good relationship means that the sex is hugely important and they need that to be close and loved......Oh please men are so shallow....I wonder if men really know what makes for a good relationship? I will let you in on the secret...for starters....manners! show respect and you will receive it....SEX is NOT everything the skin that surrounds our genetalia is called a woman! So pay attention to the person and the woman. Usually men want the woman but not her problems. AND THATS THE PROBLEM! they want just one thing and bugger the rest.

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Anthony, wrote

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12:18pm on 22 July 2011
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@Candice,thats exactly what we mean,you do not wana hear our side,so how do we live in hamorny if your being selfish?Men dont need emotional attachment to get laid unlike women.We have casual s*x so we dont put pressure on you,especially when its that time of the month for you or when you have a head-ache or maybe after-birth etc.Belive us when we say we dont even remeber those women's names and they dont mean anything to us,it is you we and chose.If god had to give you stregth to understand that part,we would live happily ever after.

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Desree, wrote

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12:04pm on 22 July 2011
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If my understanding with men is right,it means we women must satisfy our men at the expense of not only our happiness but with that of our if kids aswell. How does a man say in a commited relationship sleep with another women but still claims to love her partner,please,please make me understand.I'm talking about cases where the couple is very much inlove and without a lot of issues.

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nana, wrote

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12:04pm on 22 July 2011
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six of the ten secrets talk about sex...really? 60% of things men wished we knew has to do with sex???? hayi suka!

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Cheers to Clint, wrote

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11:41am on 22 July 2011
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Well said Clint. It's amazing how those whiners are like "Guys take note!!!" when it a "10 Things SHE wished YOU knew" article but are quick to run for cover when the tables are turned and are the first to use the "you're being selfish" card....I guess it's just that time of the month....quick someone give them a box of tampons.

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East Coaster, wrote

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11:10am on 22 July 2011
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Another thing. Don't disturb us when we're staring into thin air, don't ask us what we're thinking about -it's our time out. You see we have everything arranged into compartments & they must never touch - we even have one for your mother. Oh, & never ask us for our opinion when you fit clothes - we hate that!!

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Brenda, wrote

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10:24am on 22 July 2011
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funny how most of the what men wants women to know has to do with sex sex and more sex.

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