10 secrets men wish you knew

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IOL Lifestyle Pic Dec 13 goes with  si relationships

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So, what does your man want?

Women sometimes find it bit tricky to understand what makes their man tick - especially if he is like many guys and finds it hard to open up and express his needs or feelings verbally.

If you are wondering what's going on under his calm and cool exterior, here are some basics about men that he may want you to know but doesn't know how to tell you:

1. Sex isn't 'just sex'

It's a stereotype that to a guy, having sex is just sex - in fact, many view it as an very important act between two people who are committed to each other. Most guys are more satisfied with sexual intimacy in a committed relationship because long-term partners have a better idea of how to please each other in bed.

2. He may show his love through doing
Rather than saying the words, I love you, some men prefer to show how they feel by doing things around the home. If you're concerned that he's not expressing his feelings for you, watch what he's doing to make your world a better place. Those little actions speak volumes.

3. He feels loved through sex
While most women bond with their man by spending time chatting (which builds emotional intimacy and a desire for sex) guys tend to do it the other way round. They bond and feel loved through the closeness created by sexual intimacy. This is why sex is a hugely important part of love for them and so, not surprisingly…

4. He wants you to prioritise your sex life
If you put him last on your list of things to do late at night, he's going to feel neglected and that he's becoming less and less important to you. Granted, kids take a lot of time and energy, and so do the demands of the office. But happy partners create a happy home environment - focus on your sex life together and you and your kids will reap the benefits of a strong, loving relationship.

5. He needs some space
Men need time to themselves. It's healthy for both partners to maintain their identities as individuals as well as doing things together as a couple. If you encourage him to pursue his own hobbies, whether it's going for long bike rides, gaming with friends or carpentry, by giving him space to do his own thing he'll have more to give to you in return.

6. He wants you to initiate sex more often
Sex is a two-way thing and it isn't solely the guy's job to get the ball rolling. Women often feel men should be the hunters but guys like to feel pursued too. There's nothing sexier for a man than a woman who's so hot for him she can't stop herself from ripping his clothes off. When you initiate sex, you make him feel desirable and sexy, and that's a huge turn on for a guy.

7. He feels loved when you respect him
It's important to a man to feel respected by his partner and it's strongly linked with his feelings of being loved. If he feels you don't respect him and his ability to make good decisions, he may question your love for him. Treat him with respect and he'll be very willing to please - and pleasure - you.

8. He wants you to be adventurous in bed
If you grew up with the notion that “good girls don't have sex”, throw this out with your inhibitions. Good girls love great sex - and are entitled to it. You'd better believe he wants it too. He wants you to be daring and open to trying new things - new sex positions, sexy lingerie, different venues, new sex techniques and sex toys - to keep things fresh and exciting.

9. He takes commitment seriously
Men tend to take longer to commit because they know they'll be in it for the long haul and they want to be sure they're making the right choice. Just because he's reluctant to tell you the words you may be waiting to hear, it doesn't mean he's not committed to you. Most guys who commit tend to be happy with their decision and say they would marry their current partner again.

10. He bonds through shared activities
Men build their relationships by doing things together, rather than by sharing their thoughts and feelings. They usually feel closer to their partner through joint activities like sex or sport. If you want him to feel more of a bond with you, find an activity you enjoy doing together - and of course, have plenty of great sex. - IOL
 

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Anonymous, wrote

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10:20am on 22 July 2011
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This is so true, woman take note:

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Candice, wrote

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10:14am on 22 July 2011
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wow you guys are so childish!!! cheating is wrong,for whatever reason it is wrong. temptation should not even be your excuse.cut the crap guys,comeon

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Tsepo, wrote

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09:57am on 22 July 2011
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Bull's eye. Romy Wilde you're the IT, you're the MAN, at least I hope so.

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ANON, wrote

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09:40am on 22 July 2011
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To all the ladies out there... this article is all true...I have the experience for the last 25 years... and it works.. even if your man is unstable.... give him the support and understanding and take it from there... enjoy your partner, with their imperfections...afterall I have more imperfections than him ..I think.. enjoy your life with the one you have decided to share your life with. I requested this article... and its kinda nice to know that I am almost spot on.. There is always room for improvement from my side.

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BusiM Kzn, wrote

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09:38am on 22 July 2011
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mmm, intriguing! Man more complicated than us women. @Anonymous7:52.Casual s&x with another woman is pure cheating on your partner and I would question your intergrity.

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jimmy, wrote

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09:34am on 22 July 2011
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I agree with Clint. This article is also more for those in long term relationships than those out for quickies - which is normally more about bondage than bonding...

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Jaws, wrote

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09:34am on 22 July 2011
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I find it funny that this article was wriiten by a woman claiming she knows what we 'MEN' want. Follow her 10 rules ladies "initiate sex" LOL!!!!

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Clint, wrote

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09:14am on 22 July 2011
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This article is about the most accurate I have read and for once the guys side is considered. I read the article "10 Things SHE wished YOU knew" ( also from IOL and the link is on this page. I have a question to ask though to all those Anon-Men-are-selfish whiners. Have you read the supporting article directed at men explaining the secrets they should know? If you did and you compare it to this article, no longer is the matter selfish, but give and take as well as balance. So take your selfish, ignorant attitudes and park.

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Sisi, wrote

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09:11am on 22 July 2011
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I dont know what man wants really, coz when you persuade him for sex, you might not get lucky coz he might call you a bitch instead, rather wait for him to ask you..yeseees what axackly is the right thing to do with men? its hard to believe them..

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Another One, wrote

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08:46am on 22 July 2011
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@Anon 08.18. No!We don`t get jealous, we just call her a bit*h

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Anonymous, wrote

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08:41am on 22 July 2011
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Desree, what's shallow or selfish about guys in these points? i don't see anything selfish in there

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@ Anon 07:52am, wrote

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08:43am on 22 July 2011
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Are you serious? You already killed the relationship when you couldn't fight temptation!!!

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Stephanie, wrote

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08:40am on 22 July 2011
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"All good except you forgot to mention one thing, you forgot to mention that when we have casual sex with another woman, we just couldn't stop ourselves from the temptation, but it is you we love. And please don't try to dig to catch us because you're killing the relationship" Anonymous ... you're talking the biggest load of hogwash. If you're really so committed to the woman you profess to love you wouldn't even think of looking at another woman in a sexual way. You're trying to have your slice of bread buttered on both sides. Sorry to say for you, but you deserve what you get! She wouldn't be checking up on you if you didn't give her reason to. Get your head outa the sand and take responsibility for what you've done.

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Melissa, wrote

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08:39am on 22 July 2011
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Ladies, nothing new here ... just the fact that she is talking about a NORMAL emotionally balanced guy. And how many of those have you met lately ???

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Anonymous, wrote

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08:35am on 22 July 2011
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Yet again, it's all about what men want!!!

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Anonymous, wrote

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08:33am on 22 July 2011
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@Anon 08:18am. that's true your comment is spot on

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Tebogo, wrote

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08:32am on 22 July 2011
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Anonymous 7:52 spot on,dont understand how they could have forgotten to mention thee most importan point.

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Anonymous, wrote

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08:18am on 22 July 2011
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@Anon 7.52am Agreed. And when your woman does the same, don't get jealous and threaten to kill the other guys...

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Anonymous, wrote

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08:04am on 22 July 2011
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SPOT ON!

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Anonymous, wrote

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07:52am on 22 July 2011
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All good except you forgot to mention one thing, you forgot to mention that when we have casual sex with another woman, we just couldn't stop ourselves from the temptation, but it is you we love. And please don't try to dig to catch us because you're killing the relationship

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Shadra143
I'm a 22 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 45.
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I'm a 39 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 25 and 40.
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I'm a 70 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 55 and 65.
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sweetman465
I'm a 67 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 48 and 62.
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I'm a 52 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 38 and 50.
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LIONKING915
I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 38 and 50.
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Thamza_77
I'm a 37 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 35.
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I'm a 42 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 18 and 35.
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